Breastfeeding is hard work. It's draining, physically demanding and time consuming.?
While many mums may be willing to do it for their own kids, pumping to provide someone else's child milk is a significant commitment. One new mum was prepared to do this once - under extenuating?circumstances - she was loathe to do it again.?
The woman explained?on Reddit that she?and her sister-in-law were very close and had planned to have their babies close together. Her daughter was now 11 weeks and her SIL's son 14 weeks.?
As her SIL had?undergone a double mastectomy after being diagnosed with breast cancer, she was unable to breastfeed so the mum offered her some of her colostrum,?as the hospital was short on supply due to COVID-19.
"I was lucky?enough that I had been leaking since 33 weeks so I had started to collect it and had planned on donating my excess to the hospital. When she told me about her situation I offered her some of my oversupply," she explained.
"This worked great (I actually still have some left over to give the hospital) and then she shifted to formula when her son was four days old."
Facing an oversupply and advised by midwives to pump before feedings to avoid a forceful letdown, she ended up with a 'freezer full' of stored milk, which she also offered to her SIL. The arrangement had been working well for 10 weeks, but now her own sister - herself three months pregnant, had asked to get in on the milk.
"My sister has now asked me to do this for her when her baby is born because she doesn't want to breastfeed as she doesn't want to get saggy boobs or stretch marks," she said.
"I declined because by the time her baby is born I will be back at work and my daughter will be moving onto solids and my job isn't pumping friendly for a variety of reasons."
Her sister had since been bad mouthing her online saying she was 'deliberately excluding her' and 'wanting to see her baby suffer', which made the mum question her reluctance.?
Of the more than 1,500 comments the post attracted, the majority sided with the mum, urging her not to give in to her sister's guilt trip.?
"This whole temper tantrum is absurd. 'You did it for SIL but wont keep pumping even after your own kid is off the tit for me?! How selfish of you! I don't want saggy boobs! But to me, yours already are so keep it coming for me! You dairy cow!'," commented one.
"Your sister doesn't?need?your help for any medical reason, she's simply concerned about the cosmetic aspects. You helped your SIL with a medical issue and you will also be done by the time your sister would need it, and you are not a delivery service," agreed another.
"Wait, so your sister is upset that you are supporting a cancer survivor's feeding journey because you won't do the same for her and her reasoning is pure vanity?," questioned a third.?
Others pointed out that her sister would likely end up with saggy boobs and stretch marks regardless.?
"I didn't breastfeed and still got saggy boobs, so good luck to sister!" said one.?"LOL if she thinks she can do anything to prevent stretch marks," agreed another.
"It's not breastfeeding that causes saggy boobs anyway. And if she didn't want stretch marks I?got some baaaaaaad news...," one chimed in.?