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The vile call AFLW player Jess Hosking received from a total stranger: 'Telling me to kill myself because of the way I look'

By Maddison Leach|

AFWL player Jess Hosking endured years of vile bullying about her face, and now she's doing everything she can to make sure it doesn't happen to other Aussie kids born like her.

Born in 1995 with a unilateral cleft lip and palate, Hosking has undergone 17 surgeries to treat it and endured cruel comments for as long as she can remember.

"I once received a call telling me to kill myself because of the way that I looked and this person was a stranger to me," Jess Hosking tells 9Honey.

"They were comparing me to animals and calling me Michael Jackson because of my plastic surgery."?

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Jess Hosking as a child and teenager after several surgeries for her cleft lip and palate.
Jess Hosking as a child and teenager after several surgeries for her cleft lip and palate. (Instagram)

As a child, the constant bullying from other kids, adults and even strangers left her traumatised and there was no one who really understood what she was going through.

Her family, including identical twin sister Sarah, were loving and supportive but being a "cleft kid" left Hosking feeling isolated and alone, with no one to look up to who looked like her.

"I used to spend hours upon hours just googling cleft groups or attempting to find cleft people, and there just wasn't anything online when I was growing up," she says.

Back then, she'd never believe that one day a "cleftie" like her would run onto a football field with two other "cleft kids" for the whole world to see.?

She'd certainly never dream that it would be her.

AFLW player Jess Hosking runs onto the field at her 50th game with two 'cleft kids'.
AFLW player Jess Hosking runs onto the field at her 50th game with two 'cleft kids'. (Supplied)

Last weekend the 26-year-old celebrated her milestone 50th game during national Cleft Awareness Week, in a crossover Hosking called "fate".

She took to the field hand-in-hand with Harriett and Aiden, two cleft kids she's known for years, and proved herself to be the role model she never had growing up.

"In life some things do fall into place, and Cleft Awareness Week obviously brings up some raw emotions, but this was an opportunity to share and help some of the other kids," she says.?

"To be able to do that at the same time as playing footy and having a milestone in a final is pretty surreal."

Hosking battled through injuries and setbacks to reach the milestone but when she started her AFLW career, she dreaded questions about her cleft.

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Jess Hosking shows the results of her cleft surgeries.
Jess Hosking shows the results of her cleft surgeries. (Instagram)

Though she's open about her experiences as a "cleftie" now, years of bullying and trauma weighed her down even into her early 20s.

"The only doubt that I had was worrying that people would start bullying me again for it," she recalls.

Hosking also feared how it would affect other cleft kids to see someone like them viciously attacked in the public spotlight, but the response when she did start speaking up was very different.

Cleft kids and their families from around Australia flooded her with thanks and praise for being the kind of role model she had so desperately wanted as a child.

Since then Hosking's platform has only grown and the Richmond player now supports a number of cleft charities, as well as forming special bonds with the kids who look up to her.

AFLW player Jess Hosking at her 50th game with Harriett, Aiden and twin sister Sarah Hosking.
AFLW player Jess Hosking at her 50th game with Harriett, Aiden and twin sister Sarah Hosking. (Supplied)

"It's surreal for me because it's something that I wished for. All I was looking for as a kid was just to see someone going through the same thing," she reflects.

"I can't explain how special it isกญ that's one thing I'm extremely grateful for within footy, the opportunities that have arisen and using my platform for the better."

There are drawbacks to being in the public eye too; Hosking still deals with online trolls and rude comments about her appearance.

"Unfortunately I have a habit of reading through comments and then find the comment about myselfกญ it happens, but nowhere near as much as what it used to," she adds.

But knowing the difference she's making for kids like Harriett and Aiden get her through even the bad days.

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AFLW player Jess Hosking with Aiden in hospital.
AFLW player Jess Hosking with Aiden in hospital. (Supplied)

Hosking hopes she can make the world a more accepting place for them, but one AFLW player can only do so much.

That's why she's calling for better education around clefts and starting meaningful conversations so cleft kids know they're not alone.

"The awareness that I'm raising for these kids from a young age is that it is okay to talk about it," she explains.

"Growing up, I didn't talk about the issues I had with my cleft and it made it very hard to deal with those emotions solo. Sharing these stories and talking about what's happened in the past with bullying, it just makes more people aware."

Understanding is the first step to acceptance and Hosking has seen firsthand how much it can help kids like Harriett and Aiden to know there's someone just like them in their corner.

AFLW player Jess Hosking with Harriett at her 50th game.
AFLW player Jess Hosking with Harriett at her 50th game. (Supplied)

In fact, Hosking's support means so much to Harriett that the young Carlton fan even agreed to don a Richmond jersey for the big game and Aiden didn't take his off for over 24 hours.

For years, Hosking searched desperately for a role model like her and never found one. It could have left her defeated, but instead it motivated her to become one herself.

"I've always lived by a motto of you can't be what you can't see and a lot of that has been based around women in football being able to play," she adds.

"But that was my mentality around the cleft as wellกญ a lot of the messages I get from parents and families are that their kids are stoked to see another cleft person doing something meaningful."

Jess Hosking is an ambassador for CleftPals Victoria and Interplast Australia. You can find out more and donate on their websites.

If you or someone you know has been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, help is always available. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

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