Sydney woman's photo nightmare: 'A gross violation of my privacy'
By Jo Abi|
A Sydney-based? personal trainer has spoken out about the distress caused to her when topless photos of her taken at a local beach were taken without consent and distributed without her permission.
Lily Cook said the images were taken during a recent visit to the beach with her sister, the sharing of which has "changed her worldview" and caused "anger, upset, hurt."
She wrote on Instagram: "In 2022 the capture and distribution of explicit images of a woman without her knowledge or consent is both abhorrent and illegal. I am standing up to this issue. Here is my story.
"This recently happened to me and it has had a profoundly detrimental effect upon my mental health."
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?She continues: "Despite this being a moment in my life that will haunt me forever, it has opened the door to a conversation, one that is long overdue."
Cook said she decided to share her story after becoming aware of friends who have been through similar experiences.
"On Saturday 12th November I went to the beach with my sister," she recalled. "I noticed 3 males there?, 2 of which I know socially. We follow one another on social media and have many mutual friends. Soon after their girlfriends joined them."
She explained she usually lies in the sun topless however felt uncomfortable due to the group's presence.
"After delaying almost an hour to remove my top, it seemed they were preparing to leave so I finally removed it," she continued.
That night she said she received a message asking if she had been topless at the beach that day followed by a "close-up photo of me topless at the beach."
"The person who sent me the photo confirmed who sent him the photo - which was not one of the males at the beach," Cook added. "This is when I realised a photo had been taken of me without my consent and had further been distributed."
Cook told 9Honey she is hoping her openness about her ordeal breaks the chain of "quiet misogyny among men."
"This is not the first time it has happened to me I just felt braver this time. With the amount of girls that have private messaged me after posting this, I am convinced this was the right thing to do?," she says.
Cook said she contacted the men she'd seen at the beach and their girlfriends in a group message, asking them to delete the photos but didn't receive a reply from the men.
One of the women responded by saying the photo was from a "wider landscape" photo on the beach which had been cropped.
"The males obfuscated and tried to dodge responsibility by claiming the photo was cut from a larger Instagram story and therefore, not a gross violation of my privacy."?
Cook believes this was a lie, saying the Instagram story photo mentioned only contained she and her sister lying down. The photo distributed of she and her sister includes her sister sitting up.
"Due to the quality of the image and the angle, it was clear one of the males has snuck up closer to me to get a close-up photo of me topless," she writes.
?Cook then shared edited copies of the photos.
After Cook's brother confronted one of the men with different photos of his sisters at the beach, the man claimed he'd "taken the photo off the other male's phone and distributed it to two additional men."
He has since refused to admit this to the police and the other male has also failed to admit responsibility.
"These men (and I use that word generously) ?chose to create and corroborate in further lies, embellish stories and gaslight me rather than apologising and admitting this stark and obvious truth," she continues in the post. "I can't help but think of how different this whole process would be if they had the strength and dignity to own their actions and how it can impact a woman."
She then describes the behaviour as "disappointing, it's disgusting จC perverted and juvenile."? Cook says further distress has been caused by the men's failure to apologise and "do not care about me and my feelings."
Cook said she hopes her post will help ease the feelings of overwhelm and "hurt and the burden of societal stigma" for those ?who have had explicit photos shared without their permission.
"I want them to know we share a bond and can draw on each other for strength," she went on. "I don't want the conversation to end with these tiles and for the sake of our future as women ad girls in this country, it can't."
Cook ended her post by saying while she is recovering ?from the distress the situation has caused she will "never, ever" let them forget what they have done.
"Sorry boys, it's now your time," she stated.
Many of Cook's followers have shared their support for her during this ordeal, including Chantelle Otten, sexologist and partner of Dylan Alcott.
"Lily I am so sorry this happened to you and your sister," she responded. "This is so violating and disgusting, I can't imagine your feelings over the days of this unfolding. We are all behind you, they are the problem, you are so brave in writing this post. I hope this is not swept under the rug, but adequately dealt with."
A NSW Police spokesperson told 9Honey: "Distributing images, particularly of an intimate nature, to others without permission can have a serious impact upon a person's health and mental wellbeing, and may lead to criminal action.
"Images of this nature can be distributed and viewed with increasing ease and can 'go viral' in minutes, with long-term damaging consequences for victims.
"Even in a public setting, the privacy of others should be respected and if someone feels unsafe due to the actions of others, they should report it to police."
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