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Qld mum's mission to help others following suicide death of ex-husband

By Jo Abi|

Melanie Ross is the first to admit her marriage separation was painful.

She and her ex-husband Darren endured a very difficult divorce for the following six years, sharing care of their two young boys.

At the time of their separation, the court appointed family psychologist to assess the children. That psychologist recommended the children should not be in their father's care. They recommended Darren seek counselling. This recommendation was never followed.

It would be their children, then aged 16 and 13, who found Darren when he died by suicide in 2016.

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melanie mental health death of ex-husband
It would be their children, then aged 16 and 13, who found Darren when he died by suicide in 2016. (Supplied)

"That's the worst part of it. I was in Sydney at the time when they went to visit their Dad at his home. That is something no mother ever wants her children to go through," she tells 9Honey.

She describes the flight home as the "longest flight of my life."

"The boys were in shock," she recalls. "The next few months were very difficult and the next few years with my youngest were tough. He was the one who had the toughest time with it. My eldest seemed to cope better."

She was aware her ex-husband was battling mental health issues, but she never thought this is how it would all end.

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melanie mental health death of ex-husband
She was aware her ex-husband was battling mental health issues. (Supplied)

"I met Darren when I was a teenager, so we were together for about 20 years in total," she says. While no-one wants a split family, I did think we'd get through it. It would be a chapter, and we would get past it and have a new normal.

"I had scenes in my head that Darren and I, as co-parents and friends, would be welcoming grandchildren harmoniously. I'm heartbroken for the boys, that they have to go through life without their dad."?

"That is something no mother ever wants her children to go through."

She and her teenage sons began seeing a counsellor to help them through the process, also leaning on family and friends for support.

"We had a great counsellor who was recommended to us," she says.

Today the boys are 24 and 20 and whilst it is still a raw and difficult thing to discuss, they do.

melanie mental health initiative
The mother-of-two has dedicated some of her work to helping others struggling with mental ill health. (Supplied)

"I think that's a good thing, not only therapeutic but bringing the conversation mainstream without having any stigma around it," she says. ?

That's where the idea for the gift company came from. I was thinking of what I could do to help the cause. I've been a florist for 25 years and people send flowers and gifts all the time, for so many reasons and occasions, why not incorporate the two - gifting and charity.

She launched Kind Heart Gift Co, a floral and gift delivery service in Queensland that raises funds for the Mental Awareness Foundation (MAF). 10 percent from every purchase goes directly to the foundation.

"I actually knew the founders of MAF through a business networking group and I was really impressed with what they were doing and thought of how I could help the cause," she says.

"I launched it just before Mother's Day this year. I have a retail shop but I set up this website separately. I just really wanted to keep it simple and for the fundraising to be steadily ongoing."

This Sunday (October 9) the Mental Awareness Foundation is holding its 12th annual Walk for Awareness - Australia's Largest Walk for Mental Health to take place during Queensland Mental Health Week (October 8 - 16) and Mental Health Awareness Month (October).

Find out more or register by visiting the website.?

If you or someone you know is in need of support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Men's Helpline on ?1300 78 99 78. In the event of an emergency dial Triple Zero (000).

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