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'Why I couldn't be happier with my "fake" engagement ring'

By Shelly Horton|

Listen up, ladies: the size of your engagement ring is not important. Choosing the right husband is the important bit.

There seems to have been a spate of grumpy women not happy with their engagement rings lately. One was upset because the diamond was too small; one because her partner didn't spend three months' salary; another because the diamond was lab-grown not mined.

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proposal scene from The Notebook
It's not all about the ring. Seriously. (New Line Cinema)

Does the feminism and equality bit get thrown out the window when it comes to the "rocks that I got"?

Ignore Insta-famous proposals กช celebs don't help when it comes to putting pressure on blokes to cough up. Kim Kardashian's engagement ring was $9.9 million (will she give it back? Doubt it), yet Miranda Kerr is married to a billionaire and her four-carat stone is rumoured to have cost just shy of $200,000. There's no consistency.

Let's look at how much Aussies are spending on their sparklers.

There used to be a three months' salary rule of thumb (or ring finger so to speak). A 2017 Australian online survey found couples spend an average of $6143 on an engagement ring.

Shelly Horton's engagement ring
"My engagement ring is actually a cubic zirconia, and I'm not ashamed." (Supplied)

Contradicting that is the Q Report. An Australian jewellery insurer says, "If we're to go by the 'three months' salary rule', we can see that the numbers don't quite add up to $6,000."

Median annual income in Australia: $65,500 (before tax and superannuation)
Annual take-home salary after tax and super: $51,580
Monthly salary: $4,298
Three months' salary: $12,895?

RELATED: Woman labelled 'toxic' after demanding three engagement rings

Either way, we're talking a chunk of change.

So, are you ready for this bombshell? My engagement ring is actually a cubic zirconia. I'm not ashamed กช it makes so much sense financially, I found it hard to justify the real deal. Here's how it happened.

Shelly Horton's earrings
The earrings Shelly had made with her Papa's diamond - and a cubic zirconia. (Supplied)

This ring is for my second marriage. In my first marriage, I used a diamond from my grandfather that I inherited. When that marriage broke down, I had it made into an earring. Then I had the matching earring made, but couldn't afford to put that diamond in the second earring, so I just got a cubic zirconia.

I had a mark put on the back of the earring to show which one was from my Papa. I always wear that earring on my left side, over my heart, in his honour. But if it wasn't for that mark on the back, I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. '

In fact, no-one could ever tell. That's when I realised that unless you're a jeweller, it really doesn't matter.

When my now-husband Darren and I were getting to the point where we were talking about marriage, I told him I really didn't want him spending three months' salary on an engagement ring. We decided the money saved on the ring would go towards an investment property.

Shelly Horton's engagement ring
"I told him I really didn't want him spending three months' salary on an engagement ring." (Supplied)

I always dreamed of an emerald-cut diamond engagement ring, and they are damn expensive. To get a good quality cubic zirconia version made to my dream design would still be $1500.

Basically, we just agreed we should go halves. He also picked out a ring for himself, and we went halves on that also. I just don't really understand why one person must have a huge outlay and the other person doesn't??

RELATED: 'Why I wanted to buy my own engagement ring'

Darren's mother had offered us his grandmother's diamond wedding band. So, the engagement ring is cubic zirconia, but the wedding band is real diamonds.

I got to get the ring of my dreams and sentimental value all rolled into one. Plus, we got to save about 10 grand to put towards an investment property, which is what we did.

Shelly Horton's engagement ring and earrings
"I got to get the ring of my dreams and sentimental value all rolled into one." (Supplied)

I think people need to be a little bit smarter when it comes to engagement rings and realise no one else cares or notices. If you love it, that's all that counts.

I'm not alone. Buying your own engagement ring is actually becoming increasingly popular, with some women saying it creates a more equal partnership because there is less of a financial burden on men.

MAFS star Jules Robinson says the ring Cam gave her during the experiment was a cubic zirconia, but Jules has kept that for sentimental value and wears it on her right hand.

However, because she's a woman with a vision, Jules had already bought an engagement ring for herself. It was exactly what she wanted, so she just gave that to Cam to give to her.

Jules Robinson and Cam Merchant
Jules Robinson from MAFS chose her own engagement ring before Cam proposed. (Instagram)

It's something to consider, but there's one caveat on this situation: I think it should be a mutual decision.

I wouldn't like it if a guy chose a cubic zirconia and didn't tell his fiancจฆ, because what if they went to lunch with a jeweller, or something like that, and he was exposed as a liar? That's embarrassing for everyone.

But if you're both open to discuss it and agree, I think doing what makes sense financially is what makes sense for the marriage.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend, but investment properties are a girl's smart choice.

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British Royal Family engagement rings

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