'So rude': The controversial social media act I refuse to give up for my own mental health
By Maddison Leach|
Recently, I performed an act so controversial, a close friend couldn't actually believe I did it in front of her: I blocked an old acquaintance on Instagram because I was jealous of them.
"Are you serious?" my friend asked when she saw me hit the block button. "That's so rude."
But I beg to differ, so before you start sending me an angry email, just hear me out.
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First, let me point out that I don't exclusively block people I'm jealous of; my blocked list includes 46 accounts on Instagram, most of which are spam pages.
As for jealousy, there are two kinds according to researchers: benign envy, which can motivate us to chase the same success as the people we're envious of, and malicious envy, which can make us feel crappy about ourselves and the people we're envious of.
With that in mind, I only block people on social media that I'm maliciously envious of, for two reasons.
First, I want to protect myself from constantly comparing myself to their career successes, their latest personal achievements, and the perfect life they may appear to lead online, so it doesn't have a negative impact on my mental health.
Secondly, I want to protect them (and our relationship, whatever it may be) from the one-sided negative feelings or resentment that can build up when you're maliciously jealous of someone.
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"Can't you just unfollow them?" I hear you ask.
That used to be my solution to social media jealousy, but with the way algorithms work these days the only way to actually stop seeing someone's posts is to block them จC otherwise they'll just keep popping up in your Instagram Explore feed or on the TikTok For You page.
I know it's an unpopular stance, but in my opinion blocking or restricting people I'm jealous of from showing up on my social media feed is the healthiest way for me to deal with social media envy. And despite how divisive that may sound, I'm not entirely wrong.
"If you recognise that you're beginning to feel jealous, or anxious, or feel bad about yourself, then it's actually a really good idea to limit your exposure to social media," Australian Psychological Society President Dr Catriona Davis-McCabe tells 9honey.
"Research shows us that jealousy can be heightened by social media, and that's because we're scrolling through it every day กญ we know that it's not real, but we get caught up in it."
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She explains that seeing the perfect, idealised versions people project of themselves on social media can spark feelings of envy, self-doubt, comparison, anxiety and even depression, especially in individuals who already struggle with those things in their offline lives.
And though we, as a society, are far more aware of the fact that social media is really just a "highlights reel" in this day and age, that logical understanding won't necessarily stop us from feeling jealous when we see an influencer post their latest designer purchase or an old coworker share a big career win.
"Our emotional responses can overpower that rational thought," Davis-McCabe says.?
"And I think social media is inherently designed to trigger those emotional reactions กญ because we look at our own lives, we look at what's happening, and we compare ourselves."
For example, I know the old acquaintance I blocked doesn't live a perfect life or have the perfect career. I also know I have a lot to be proud of in my own career, and that I'm also guilty of sharing my own highlights online
But when that old acquaintance posts photos on Instagram from her flashy new job, I can't help but get jealous: the emotions outweigh the logic.?
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Davis-McCabe assures me it's normal to experience envy to a certain degree and taking steps to limit my exposure to the social media content that makes me feel jealous is healthy, but it's not the only way to cope.?
The first step for anyone trying to combat social media envy is to put down the phone and take a break from social media, or even set up a time limit on specific social media platforms to reduce the amount of time you spend scrolling and potentially comparing yourself.
Restricting or blocking certain accounts that make you feel jealous - be they celebrities, influencers or people in your real life - from showing up on your feed can be another step in the right direction.
"It can just provide you with some relief from those negative feelings," she says, but adds that it's important to look at why you're feeling jealous and work on it.
"Reflect on what is real in your life and what you're grateful for, what's good about you and what's good around you กญ [and] if it becomes too overwhelming, there is no shame in seeing a psychologist."
It's especially important to seek professional support if you're regularly experiencing jealousy, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or other negative health impacts as a result of social media comparison and envy.
As for me, I'll continue blocking accounts that spark jealousy in me so the negative impacts of comparison never go that far.
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