The tough journey that inspired Maria Thattil's biggest venture yet: 'To share is to heal'
By Maria Thattil|
For anyone who has ever written a book, I bloody salute you. Because it sure as hell isn't easy.
With a chapter that defies everything I was taught to believe about religion, one that brings you into the bedroom for my first time with a woman, and another that takes you through my most pivotal career moments, you can see how writing my first book Unbounded จC and now this column จC was done with shaky hands and a pounding heart.
See, it's been a whirlwind couple of years. After all, it has only been two years since I first became Australia's Miss Universe and was thrust into the public eye. And there's a lot I've been open about publicly จC the abortion that redefined my life, what it was like to stand for 'Australia' on a global runway while people openly asserted racist views that I shouldn't, and how I do everything from coming to terms with grief to falling in love.?
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But there is so much that you don't know. And that's because I knew digging into my own soul to share my thoughts would either be profoundly healingกญ or I worried, absolutely shattering. For a long time, I feared it would be the latter.?
And believe me, the process itself was tough. There I was in front of my incredible publishers at Penguin with nothing more than giant pieces of A3 paper, peppered with post-it notes of random memories and ideas จC but they believed in me.
I had no idea how the book would look. No idea what the title would be จC let alone the actual content! When I first began the process of writing Unbounded back in September 2021, all I knew was that I wanted to talk about my life and share the lessons I've gleaned on how to grow, heal and manifest CHANGE. And between then and now จC it has been challenging to say the least.
Because it's raw. Writing a self-help book to serve others didn't go how I expected it to. I expected it to be hard จC but it ended up being so much harder. We all have stories about ourselves and our lives. But to sift through them to find pearls of wisdom to share with others requires a risk.?
At times, I also got sick which made it doubly hard. Being so busy, saying 'yes' to work opportunities but trying to write a book that puts your life on paper is scary. I had many moments where I thought 'I can't do this,' because it was 'just too much.' And many other times where I worried about being truthful about my lived experiences จC because I grew up in a culture that doesn't talk about stigmatised topics. And now? I live in a culture where my life is seen as fair game for strangers.
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But I remembered something.?
At 11 years old, I'd relish any time my mum would take me on her grocery shopping trips. Rebelling against her instructions, I'd run to the magazine section and run my little hands over glossy covers until I reached a popular teen mag, thumbing the pages until I hit the 'sealed section.'
I'd bust open a peek and run my eyes over as much as I could. Desperate teens wrote in with their questions about sex, their developing bodies, families and troubles and in their letters, I saw my own thoughts, questions and feelings.?
And I savoured running my eyes over the answers จC because I had questions. But pretty quickly, they became too complicated to relate to those sealed sections and suddenly, I found myself searching for solace in books, TV and magazines to no avail.?
As I grew, I absorbed many messages. From skin to sex, faith and dreams, the world had boxes for me and I shrunk myself to fit them. I was bound by a blueprint for who I should be, what I'm capable of and who I should love. The blueprint didn't feel right จC but no-one had answers on how to challenge it.
Everything I'd kept inside was my own 'sealed section'. Eventually I came to the realisation that I didn't want it to be sealed anymore.
All my fears about sharing who I am with the world and being honest is exactly why I needed to write about the things I once desperately questioned.?
And so I scrapped my 'sealed section' and wrote a book.?
I wrote the book that I needed จC for every moment I lived through racism, assault, self-harm, homophobia, heartbreak and being boxed into blueprints that tried to define who I am. The book that lets you into parts of my life I once never thought I'd dare to share จC but to share is to heal.?
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When I shared the book with my parents and my brother จC they said one thing: don't sanitise the truth. Because like that 11-year-old thumbing through 'sealed sections', there is someone out there จC maybe you จC who is also looking for answers and their truth. In that case, I hope this book will change your life.?
So, as I release Unbounded into the world จC I'm also releasing my fears of being truthful about my mistakes, my worries and my life.
Yes, my hands are shaky. Yes, my heart is pounding. But equally, my spirit is soaring and my conviction is strong. Because I learned how to manifest a life beyond limits and I'm sharing it with you. I wasn't born to fit a blueprint. You weren't, either.
Are you ready to become unbounded??
Unbounded by Maria Thattil is published on 21 February, 2023 by Penguin Random House Australia. RRP $34.99. Pre-order your copy here.?
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