'I packed my schoolbag and ran away': Rachel was homeless at 15
By Jo Abi|
Rachel* felt like she had her whole life ahead of her when she and her family moved from the Philippines to Melbourne when she was nine. ?Her father and brother had arrived ahead of time to set up their home.
It didn't take long for her new life to turn into a nightmare.
There was violence in the home, drug use and mental illness. Rachel and her mother spent time in a women's shelter before moving into a government flat in Fitzroy.
"I think I was in Year 6," she tells 9Honey.? "Mum was on Centrelink benefits and we had no furniture, we didn't have a fridge or a TV.
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"We were given a futon bed but it was covered in blood, so we slept on the floor on a mattress protector with a blanket. I don't remember if we had pillows. Mum had an esky for food."
Finances were always tight ?and purchasing everything she needed for school was a real struggle.
"School was the only thing that kept me going," Rachel says.
"When high school started, we had to buy my school books second-hand. I remember Mum bought two school dresses and one school jumper, which was already quite a lot of money.
"She'd tell me, 'This is how much I earn, how much rent we pay and what's left over' so I was always aware of the finances."
Rachel's mother had studied economics in the Philippines and had worked for the family business for years, but was unable to find equal employment here.
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"It was hard for her to be in a new country. She spoke English but she had no family here," Rachel says.
"?Mum bought me what I needed for school, but I was bullied because on sports days I didn't have Nikes or Adidas. We simply couldn't afford it.
"I remember waiting until winter to ask Mum to buy me school pants which cost $70, but I was freezing. Most of the kids had dual-income families. I couldn't afford a sports uniform."
"School was the only thing that kept me going."
Rachel's relationship with her mother began to deteriorate as past traumas caught up with them.
"I was in in Year 10 and I still remember we were living in the flat and I was really depressed and I started self-harming," she says.
"I really didn't have anyone to speak to, until the school found a counsellor, Micaela Cronin, who is now the CEO of DV Australia."
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"She's the first one who explained to me that I was looking after my mum rather than my mum looking after me. She said that wasn't my responsibility."
Things came to a head when Rachel's mother refused to allow her to go out with friends, igniting a terrible fight that was difficult to recover from. ?Rachel went anyway, and never returned home.
"I decided that I was going to pack my school bag with my school uniform and run away. I was 15 and I had $10," she says.
"I went to a friend and asked her if I could sleep over, but her parents said no so I went to the local police and told them what had happened. The policeman called a local youth refuge and I went there for six weeks.
"During that time I called my grandmother in the Philippines and told her I'd had to run away from home, and could she send me some money to buy the rest of my school books so I could keep going to school, which she did."
The teenager continued attending school and eventually reconnected with her mother, who had been frantic when she'd gone missing.
Rachel started by writing notes and leaving them at her mother's front door. Eventually they began attending church together each weekend and dinner after, but they would never live together again.
?From the refuge, she was placed in a home for teenagers who were under 18 but for a number of reasons weren't able to live at home with their families. Rachel was desperate to avoid foster care and was thrilled with her new living situation.
The home was run by the Lighthouse Foundation, a Victoria-based youth charity that helps youths experiencing homelessness or trauma, providing them with the support and help they need to complete their education and build meaningful lives.
"Seeing kids who were my age interacting, safe and happy made me feel like 'this is the right place for me'."
"The night before I moved in, I remember praying to God to give me a sign, and that night I had a dream about a big white house with a bell tower on the top," Rachel recalls. ?
"When the carers drove me there it was the exact same house from my dream with a bell tower on the top, minus the bell. From that moment I knew it was home.
"Seeing the kids there who were my age interacting, safe and happy made me feel like 'this is the right place for me'.
"I lived there from the age of 15 to 19. Every year they'd send us to a professional development course. One was Anthony Robbins and I walked over charcoals.
"I was still quite depressed about my family, but I would hear repeatedly that my past doesn't equal my future and the therapists and Lighthouse were able to provide therapy for me and my mum.
"Lighthouse helped me get my first job in a hospital and then a medical clinic."
Today Rachel works at an NDIS service provider. She eventually married and had a son and a daughter. The marriage ended in divorce, but she is focused on remaining grateful for the life she has, the life she built with the right supports.
Her relationship with her mother is closer than ever.
"Last year I contacted Sue at the Lighthouse Foundation. I told her, 'I'm not rich, I can't donate, but if you need anyone to share their story please let me know'," she says.?
"Even now I do a lot of volunteer work in my community. People say I am so generous but I say sometimes people need a second chance. They are born into a really bad situation, and all it takes is one person being kind and that kindness can change someone's life."
Rachel's children are now 15 and 12, and her son recently attended? one of her speaking events, hearing her tell her story.
"Our relationship has changed since then. I think he's got better respect for me, not just as a mum," she says.
Like her own mother, Rachel says she sometimes struggles to provide her children with everything they need each school year.
"Every year I have to put money aside for school books, and every year I see parents struggling. There are parents struggling to put food on the table. You don't realise how lucky you are," she says.
"Obviously parenting is not easy. I feel as though as long as my kids have a home, a bed, food on the table, provided them with their needs and make them feel loved and accepted, I know I'm doing OK as a parent."
*Not her real name?
If you or someone you know is in need of support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or 1800RESPECT on 1800? 737 732.
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