A man has asked for advice after his?ex-girlfriend refused?a DNA test?when he discovered she'd had a secret baby.?
The pair, from the UK, had a brief fling this time last year and he recently found out his ex now has a three-month-old son - who he is 'convinced' is his.?
Sharing the saga?on Reddit, the man said the woman initially tried to hide when?the pair ran into each other by chance recently, while she had the baby with her.?He later?messaged?her and requested?a test, he said she refused but did agree there was a possibility he could be the father.
She said the timing, and the fact her son was born?one month early, made it unlikely. However, as the baby?was born weighing 3.8kg, the man felt he may be being lied to about the baby's due date.?
"I'm no expert but this seems a little far fetched to me. I want to know if this baby is my son because I would like the chance to step up, but would I be an a**hole?to demand a DNA test to be sure?," he asked.
"If it comes back negative then obviously I will leave her alone but if it comes back positive I want a relationship with my child. If she is telling the truth he would have been conceived in August because he was born in April, but if he's mine he would have been conceived in June/July?"
Most commenters on Reddit agreed the man should pursue a test, saying he deserved the right to know his child, if his hunch was correct. But said he should consider the weight of responsibility it would entail.?
"If this kid could realistically be yours, you need to lawyer up and get that test, for everyone's sake. I think it's great that you're ready to be there for this kid, especially since you didn't have a long-term relationship with the mother," said one.
"Before you do, make sure you are ready to commit if the child is yours. Once you take responsibility,?you need to remain a consistent and stable member of this child's life," added another.?
Many others?disputed his baby weight theory, saying it was entirely possible he was born early at a healthy weight. Especially if the mum had experienced gestational diabetes.
"OP is warranted in wanting the test but it's not far fetched depending on what he means by a month early. Because 36 weeks would be term (39/40 is FULL term but 36 weeks is totally fine to deliver)," one said.
"My daughter was born at 35 weeks and five days so just shy of being 'term'?and she was 9 pounds," added another.
"My nephew however, was born at 36 weeks and was over 12lbs at birth," said one woman, "She probably had undiagnosed GD."
However others?suggested he hold off on acting, given his ex may need some time to consider him coming into their lives.
"YWBTA (you would be the a**hole)?if you [immediately] demand a DNA test, in my opinion. The baby is three-months-old and I guarantee the mother's stress level is significantly higher than yours is. I think you should wait a little while before pushing for genetic testing," argued one.?
"While it might be yours, there's a huge margin of error especially based on the baby's size and pregnancy term math," agreed another.?