What to do when baby name remorse strikes: 'It just didn't suit her'
By Carolyn Tate|
When rural Victorian mum-of-two Deb gave birth to her first child, she already knew she would call her daughter Claire. But in the days that followed her birth, Deb and her husband Neil felt something wasn't right.
"We felt Claire just didn't suit her," Deb says. "We kept calling her Claire but it just did not work - we both felt like it was wrong. It's hard to explain why, but as soon as we thought of Ali (Alison), it stuck."
It was only a few days after Ali's birth that Deb informed friends and family of her name change, but it was already too late to avoid some awkwardness.
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"My father had already put a birth notice in the paper, and an aunt had a commemorative plate made with the original name!" laughs Deb.
Baby name remorse is a common occurrence for new parents, with a Baby Center survey finding 11 per cent of parents have regrets about the name they've chosen for their baby.
Kylie Jenner recently brought this issue to light when she announced to her 327 million followers that she had changed her mind about her baby son's name. She and partner Travis Scott had previously announced their son, who was born in February this year, was named Wolf.
Jenner then shared on Instagram, "FYI, our son's name isn't Wolf anymore. We just really didn't feel like it was him.
"Just wanted to share because I keep seeing Wolf everywhere."
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The couple are yet to announce their son's new name.
One parent who knows what it's like to live with the remorse of not changing her child's name is Darling Downs mum of three Leanne. She says she was tempted to change her son's name but never went through with it.
Leanne's eldest child's name is Harry, and their last name is Potter.
"The books were out, but the movies weren't [when Harry was born]," says Leanne. "His grandfather and great grandfather were both Harold Potter (nickname Harry). We wanted a family name no way was I having Harold, and we always loved Harry."
Once the Harry Potter movies came out, Harry's name never failed to raise attention.
"By the time he was four, everyone laughed when they found out his name," says Leanne. "By high school, he hated it and we were going to help him change his name. the problem was, he didn't know what he wanted to change it to. And he wanted to still have the same surname as us.
"Now he's in his twenties and he's okay with it."
Leanne says Harry has made his peace with his name now, and even sees some advantage to it.
"Now he says at least when he applies for jobs, plays sport or whatever, people remember his name, so his resume stands out," she says. "He'd probably still rather be Joe or Jack or Henry."
Shelley Anderson from Australian Family Lawyers says changing your child's name can be a simple process, even if you've already registered their birth.
"If you decide to change a child's name after the registration process is complete, you will need to make an application to Births, Death and Marriages in your state," she says. "Some states offer a streamlined process to change a child's name within 12 months of their birth.
"All of these processes will incur a fee."
It is important, however, to ensure both parents agree, if you have two on the birth certificate.
"The application will need to be agreed by all parties," says Anderson. "If there are two parents on the birth certificate, they will both need to agree. If the child is old enough to have an opinion they will have to consent as well. When everyone agrees, the name change process is extremely straightforward.
"However, if one parent does not agree, then this will require an application to the relevant State's Administrative Tribunal or Court, or the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. The jurisdiction will depend on the State and the circumstances of the name change, so it is best to seek legal advice before taking any legal action."
So while it's nice to get your baby's name right the first time, it's easy enough to change it, if that's what you decide is best. And if you're a little unsure, perhaps ask your relatives to hold off on the commemorative plates for a few months.
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