Child with severe developmental disabilities removed from theatre seat after complaint: 'He was making happy noises'
By Merryn Porter |
Children with developmental disabilities and their parents จC are not always made to feel welcome in society, and are often met with stares.
Now a mother in the US says she was left traumatised after she was asked to ?remove her 15-year-old son from his seat because he was making 'happy noises.'
?Erica Bluestone Blit took to Facebook yesterday to recount what happened when they went to see a musical in New York, and said the incident left her "shocked and extremely shaken up."
?Blit said she took her 15-year-old son, Brandon, her 10-year-old daughter and one of her daughter's friends to see a matinee performance of The Prom at White Plains Performing Arts Centre.
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Blit told TODAY Parents her son has a genetic disorder called MED13L syndrome?. It causes moderate to severe developmental delay, intellectual disability and autism-style tendencies. Most people with the condition are non-verbal.
In her Facebook post she said she chose the musical because it had lots of music and dancing, "and the bonus was that the show happens to be about inclusion and acceptance." ?
"I purposefully chose a show that was upbeat, lively and appropriate for my children," she wrote, adding Brandon "likes to be right up front in the action."
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Blit said she booked a matinee performance and an aisle seat in case Brandon became upset and they needed to leave.
"The decision to go anywhere with Brandon involves a lot of thought, planning, consideration and sometimes anxiety before going," she said.
"My husband was going to be away and it is challenging to find activities that are enjoyable for both my children and that I can handle alone.
"The children were having a great time at the show, especially Brandon. He was making some happy noises, cheering on the performance, not always on cue, but intermittent."
But Blit said she got a "pit in [her] stomach" when she noticed the elderly woman across the aisle was staring at them.
She said it caused her to wonder if she made a mistake to bring him or if she should take him outside.
"I made the decision not to as he was enjoying it and I truly didn't believe that his excitement hindered anyone from enjoying the show," she said, adding she "would've removed him immediately" as she had done before.
"During intermission I was approached by the general manager who told me that people were complaining and we would need to be moved to the back of the theatre," she said.
"My daughter heard and was crying. I knew I had to keep my composure and set a good example as I was alone with the three kids," she wrote, but admitted, "I also wanted to cry."
"I suggested to the manager that they really should do autism-friendly performances in the future. I also requested a refund as we were moved to the back of the auditorium and made to feel like outcasts," she said, adding she was issued a refund, but "only because she thought we were leaving the theatre."
Blit later found the employee "voided our refund" when she realised they were staying.
"We remained for the second act. The entire time, I questioned whether I should have brought him to the show. That night I could not sleep," she wrote.
"Was an audience member's enjoyment of a show paramount to my son's inclusion and acceptance in society?"
But she said the situation got even worse after her husband sent an email to the theatre the next day.
"The president of the theatre, John Ioris, responded with a defensive, insensitive email, but enclosed his number for us to be able to talk to him," she wrote.
"I truly believed that once he heard the story of what happened he would try to do the right thing in the future. I could not have been more wrong!
"He asked me what I expected to happen that day. I said they could've told the people complaining this is a child with a disability and offered to move their seats. Or had the manager come up to me and said, 'I am so sorry I feel awful doing this but people are complaining. I am going to give you a refund for your tickets and move you somewhere that would be more comfortable for you.'
"He responded, 'Oh, so this is just about the money and it is not my responsibility to educate my patrons.'
"He asked me what I wanted to get out of this call and I told him I had hoped for a sincere apology and for them to do better in the future and/or do autism or sensory-friendly performances," she said, adding, "Many Broadway shows and theatres across the country do them."
"He said that wasn't going to happen, that it wasn't his audience. He further told me how accommodating they are and the theatre had other people with disabilities there that day [and] that disabled people usually go with a moderator."
When she asked what a moderator was, he told her it was a caregiver "who is expected to control the child."
She said she recounted a story that appeared in The New York Times some years ago about a child with autism who caused a disruption in a theatre. When audience members asked for him to be removed, one of the actors stood up and condemned them.
He responded that the actors in the play were also complaining about Brandon's noises.
"After more offensive and demoralising back and forth, I realised there was no getting through to this person. I eventually ended the conversation feeling even worse," she wrote.
"This is why I am so angry and feel the need to share.
"Another mother of a special needs child recently told me that she had the fear of bringing her kids to any performances or events because she was afraid of the stares and rejection.
"She did not want her kids to feel bad or less than. This is not an uncommon feeling of parents of children with special needs.
"What the president of this theatre did to my family reinforced this fear.
"It is not easy to live our life out in public but I push myself to do it for my family.
"Isn't it ironic that a theatre putting on a performance encouraging someone to come out of the closet, was trying to push us into one?"
Blit said her family "prides itself on including Brandon with as much travel and culture as possible."
"We do not allow his disability to become an inability. We will not allow this small-minded man and this theatre to make it an inability.
"My son was excited by the performance and was enjoying it until he was treated unfairly and in a discriminatory manner due to his disability.
"He was NOT being disruptive, but cheering a little differently than others.
"It's ironic how the arts are supposed to encourage acceptance, yet in this case it seems to promote acceptance only when it doesn't interrupt people's daily life or bother the entitled elite."
She urged people to boycott the theatre, and urged the public to be more understanding of those with special needs.
"The next time you see a family with a child with special needs, please understand the challenges that we face while trying to integrate with the mainstream and give us a little leeway and a smile," she wrote.
Ioris told TODAY Parents the theatre received "numerous complaints" about the noises Brandon was making and "more than a dozen people" asked for a refund.
He said a theatre reviewer was also there that day who wrote that "the whimpering of a child" had plagued the performance.
He stood by how staff had handled the situation by waiting until intermission to approach the family, and it was a difficult situation because people were "screaming at the box office because they're not enjoying their day."
"I still don't know why Mrs Blit did not take the boy out of the theatre, calm him down and bring him back in again."
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