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'It's Sebby's legacy': Grieving mum works to help others in honour of her son

By 9Honey Parenting|

Edwina Symonds' first born son Sebby died when he was just ten-months-old. As a legacy to her son, she now volunteers on the Red Nose support line, helping other parents dealing with their own heartbreaking loss.

She shared her story with 9Honey Parenting as part of National Volunteers Week.??

"When offering condolence, people often can get it wrong. Particularly when a child dies - it's such a tragic thing for people to comprehend. So often they do nothing, or centre the loss around themselves, and how it affects them, rather than altering their language to protect the grieving parents.

This is actually what a lot of the calls to the Red Nose support line are about - grieving parents hurting over something a friend or a family member has done.

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Edwina helps other grieving parents in honour of her late son Sebby. (Supplied)

People will often ask me if answering these phone calls is triggering for me, but I often find them healing. I wouldn't be in a position to listen to other people's stories if I hadn't suffered such a terrible loss in my own life.

Anytime where I can offer wisdom or knowledge to another grieving parent, is an honour. This is Seb's legacy, not mine.

The time I spend every fortnight volunteering is not a chore to me, I look forward to it.

There is also a lovely community of volunteers (we have a Facebook group and can communicate via the digital phone app that we use) who are like-minded and equally passionate about supporting the parents who call us in need of a good cry or vent.

The 'child-loss' club is one that no one ever wants to join, it's a bloody awful club. But when you gain memberships it opens doors to a supportive community that others have no clue even exists - it's a beautiful beast.

(Supplied)

I feel like there's an energy shift that is usually quite evident from the start of a call I answer at the Red Nose to the end of the call.

I do an overnight shift, so sometimes people are calling at midnight or 3am after a sleepless few hours. We aren't there to 'help'. In death, grief and loss, we can't 'help'. Nothing will bring your baby back.?

But at that moment, I can listen. I can virtually hold their hand. I can offer a small window where ugly crying is completely respectable, where swearing and letting off steam about a situation is acceptable.

In that moment, that phone is maybe the only safe space they have been in all day. So when I get a laugh or a relaxed sigh toward the end of a call, I feel like I have allowed them one moment to feel like they may make it through until tomorrow to start all over again.

Grief is a slow, slow process, so one moment at a time is all anyone needs."?

The Red Nose Grief and Loss line is a 24/7 support service for Grieving Parents 1300 308 307. Edwina recently spoke to The Glimmer Podcast about her work with Red Nose, listen here.?

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