Mum in shock over husband's secret sperm donor deal
By Nikolina Koevska Kharoufeh |
Deciding to become a sperm donor is a big decision and one you'd assume is made together with your partner, especially when there is already a family in the picture.
One dad, however, didn't think it was an important enough conversation to have with his wife - deciding to donate his sperm to a family friend leaving his partner to find out a little too late in the agreement.
In an anonymous post on Reddit, the mum-to-be recalled the awkward moment both she and the wife found out that the husband had kept it a secret - during her third trimester carrying twins.
"It never once occurred to me that he would offer this without running this by his wife first," she wrote.
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She explained that as an asexual woman she didn't consider that kids would be on the cards for her, but this changes when her best friend from high school offered to be her donor.
"He offered to be the sperm donor as at least I'd know his medical history and any risks there were attached. I agreed but made it very clear he wouldn't be a parental role in the child's life, at most he'd be an honorary 'Uncle' due to our friendship," she wrote.
The friend was happy with the arrangement and made it official by using a legally licensed IVF clinic which submitted the right paperwork to ensure he had no legal right or obligation towards the child.
"The IVF was a success as my pregnant state proves, a little too successful perhaps as it's twins," the mum-to-be continued and said she was overjoyed that she offered to take her best friend and his wife out to dinner to thank them.
That's when the bombshell dropped.
"His wife was confused when I explained the reason for the dinner and then angry demanding to know why we kept this from her. I was just as shocked and asked my friend if he hadn't told his wife," she explained.
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"He tried to explain to both of us he hadn't thought it'd matter as he has no rights to them at all. His wife got even angrier at that part stating she isn't comfortable with their son having siblings that aren't really his siblings."
The argument then escalated when the wife demanded that the twins be part of their lives and the legal agreement changed.
"I was in shock over this but said I wouldn't be doing that as I wanted to raise them alone. The three of us got into a huge argument," she said.
The post concluded with, "I feel very guilty for not checking with his wife first but it honestly never occurred to me that he wouldn't have done that first so I thought if he was offering she had to have already given the ok."
The wild story left users on the platform amazed at how the husband thought not telling his wife about this big decision would ever be okay.
"I can not imagine if my husband just casually fathered someone else's child without mentioning it to me," one person commented.
"I feel utterly horrible for the wife. The husband was 100 per cent out of line! And, I can't imagine the confusion and betrayal she must have felt in that moment," declared another.
However, others were confused that the mum-to-be never once mentioned it to the wife herself, "It was his responsibility more than yours to tell her about it. Although, I do find it odd that you got this far in the process without mentioning it to her at all."
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