'We are complete': Melbourne mums welcome 'two little miracles' after agonising journey
By Heidi Krause|
Sam McPherson and Jodie Todd stare at their two children, gushing over their perfect fingers and toes.?
At two years old, their 'first little miracle' Mae is happy and thriving. And she now also has a 'little miracle' brother called Benji.?
For five torturous years, the Melbourne couple, both now 47, didn't think they would be sitting here today, with a toddler and a beautiful baby boy.?
They worried they would never get the chance to be parents.?A chance conversation at a dinner party changed everything.?
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"We started trying to conceive with a sperm donor when we were both 40, so age wasn't on our side," Sam tells 9Honey.
"We were naively unaware of just how much your fertility starts to decline at age 35."
After six unsuccessful attempts at egg transfer, the couple decided to try with Jodie's eggs.?
While she got implantation straight away, after they did genetic testing, it was discovered they were all abnormal. Jodie also had an internal bleed from the IVF.
"She almost died, it was very scary and so traumatic," Sam explains.
"From that point on, while we knew it was possible for Jodie to potentially fall pregnant and carry a baby, she couldn't do any more egg collections."
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The pair knew they desperately needed an egg donor to be able to fulfil their dream of having a baby.?The problem was, egg donors are extremely hard to come by.
"We started looking overseas, but it was very important to us that our child would have the option of knowing who their egg donor was and overseas donors are anonymous," Jodie explains.
"It was a very distressing time."
One night, Sam decided to stay home as she was feeling so low and Jodie ran into a work colleague, Hayley, at a dinner party.
After learning the couple was still trying to get pregnant, Hayley offered to donate her eggs.
"She called me again the next day to say, 'I'm serious. I'm 34 and I've already finished having my kids. I want to do this for you'."
As a result of Hayley's generous gift, Sam and Jodie welcomed a beautiful girl, Mae in August, 2020 and Benji in October last year from the same IVF cycle.
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"It was enough of a miracle the first time, then after COVID hit we decided to pack off and move to Mildura and also try again for another baby using one of the remaining frozen embryos," Jodie explains.
"It worked first time again. We couldn't believe it."
"And we love that they are full-blood siblings, although they look completely different," she adds with a laugh.
The feeling of being a mum is like nothing I've ever felt before. It's the best thing we've ever done.
The mums feel 'incredibly lucky' that they are about to celebrate their third Mother's Day.
"The feeling of being a mum is like nothing I've ever felt before," Sam reveals.
"It's the best thing we've ever done. It's all I've ever wanted. They are our little miracles.?
"The fact that they are not 'genetically' related to us truly doesn't matter. Once she was in my arms, any doubts I had about our connection were entirely short-lived.
"Hayley is simply amazing and she made our lives complete."
The entire process was managed through Melbourne IVF, with the help of fertility specialist Dr Melissa Cameron and a team of counsellors, nursing staff and doctors.
Cameron, who has particular experience with donor conception, says there is currently a chronic shortage of egg donors in Australia.
"The need for donor eggs is great and the gift that an egg donation can give to someone's life is profound," she tells 9Honey.
"If you are interested, it's definitely worth making an enquiry to learn more."
"Seeing patients like Jodie and Sam hold their babies makes me realise what a privileged position I'm in to see this happen."
The couple is passionate about being 'completely open and honest' about their experience and fertility journey - and sharing it with Mae and Benji, as well as Hayley's kids.
"The thing is, once we had the eggs, it really was easy," Jodie chimes in, "and Hayley agreed. She had five viable embryos.
"Although it's funny, now we have the two kids ?you forget about how awful it all was. Doing IVF destroyed my soul for a long time.
"There were days I could not get out of bed, but now we have our little babies I can't remember any of it now."
The couple feel 'completely blessed' and both are passionate about educating others about the egg donation experience.
"I never wanted to give up on this dream," Jodie says through tears.
"We had also started the fostering process while we were undergoing IVF. I always said to Sam, 'I don't care how I become a mum, I just want to be a mum'."
Their message for women is to think about the joy your kids bring you - and imagine providing that for another couple or single parent.
"It's life-changing," Jodie urges.
"Be brave. Mae and Benji are our little miracles and you can too, help make a miracle happen."
"Also please just talk about it," Sam adds.
"I know it's a tough subject but if you don't talk about it, you'll never know who might be able to help. If I hadn't talked about it openly that night, Mae and Benji wouldn't be here. They are our beautiful little blessings."
The couple still has three frozen embryos and plans to pay the gift forward and help someone else have a longed-for child by donating them.
"We are done. Our family is complete and now we would love to help someone else have the joy and luck? and miracle we have had."
"We know how hard it is." ?
The mums plan to spend this Mother's Day with their family, celebrating Jodie's mum's 70th birthday and creating memories with their kids.
"Being a mother to me is about being a family," Sam shares through tears. "I'm getting emotional now.
"It's a chance to reflect on how lucky we are and how far same-sex relationships have come."
"It's just love and it's all I ever wanted to do. It completes me."
"And if you are still waiting to fulfill your dream of becoming a mum, please ?don't give up hope.
"There are so many ways to create a family. Keep your mind and options open."?
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