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'Screaming that I'm going to die': Victoria mum still has nightmares of the moment doctors 'closed the door' on her

By Maddison Leach|

As Tahnee Haynes held her newborn son in her arms hours after giving birth, she thought she was going to die.

"I had this excruciating head painกญ I thought I was having a brain aneurysm," she tells 9Honey.?

"I looked up at my husband and I said, 'I love you and I love our boys'. I just remember looking around the room and I was screaming that I'm going to die."

It was Haynes' second child and she knew what she was feeling wasn't a normal postpartum symptom, but claims hospital staff didn't take her pain seriously at first.

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Tahnee Haynes with her husband and newborn son immediately after his birth.
Tahnee Haynes with her husband and newborn son immediately after his birth. (Supplied)

Screaming in agony through 'thunderclap' headaches, she begged for relief, for testing, anything to identify the problem and make it stop.

"They were doing nothing about it, that's what it felt like to me. I just had to lay on my side and just hope and pray that it was not my time to go," she says.

First, doctors told the 33-year-old mum she had a migraine and gave her medication for the pain, though it had little effect and the torture continued for days.

When a CT scan showed nothing of concern, Haynes was told she may have been suffering from an epidural headache and was sent for a lumbar puncture.

That did nothing but increase her agony, as she had to lie on her back for several hours, a position that only made the pain in her head worse.

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Tahnee Haynes was in agony for days but doctors told her it was just a migraine.
Tahnee Haynes was in agony for days but doctors told her it was just a migraine. (Supplied)

At one stage, Haynes' blood pressure skyrocketed and she was left fearing for her life all over again จC only to be told it was all in her head.

"I looked at the midwife and I said, 'I feel like I'm going to die'. In that moment, it was like my life had flashed before me," she says.

"And she goes, 'Tahnee, I think you're anxious. Have you got meditation music?'"

For over a week, Haynes claims doctors and nurses minimised her pain and responded with scepticism when she insisted something was terribly wrong.

"I remember them closing the door on me... I still have nightmares."

Multiple studies have shown there is a 'pain gap' for women in medical settings, where despite reporting more severe pain more frequently than men, they are treated for pain less aggressively.

This extends to mothers, who often report having their pain minimised, dismissed or ignored in medical settings; an experience Haynes is now all too familiar with.

"It was like I was bagging my head up against a brick wall. As a new mum having these headaches, an MRI should have been ordered three days in," she says.

"I was left in a hospital room for nine days just given pain medication. I remember them closing the door on me, which I still envision to this day and I have nightmares over."

Tahnee Haynes in hospital with her newborn son in 2020.
Tahnee Haynes in hospital with her newborn son in 2020. (Supplied)

In fact, Haynes was sent home before she was ever sent for an MRI, which was scheduled as an outpatient appointment four days after she was discharged.

On the day she left hospital, she struggled to speak or walk independently and experienced vision problems and partial paralysis in her right leg. Doctors still allowed her to go home.

"My husband had to carry me around to the whole house the following day. My mouth drooped, my whole right side went like concrete," she recalls.?

"I couldn't lift up my arm. I couldn't speak, I couldn't see out of the corner of my eye. My mum looked at my husband and said, 'It's like she's having a stroke'."

Haynes' mother couldn't have known how right she was.

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Though the 33-year-old had no idea at the time, she had developed a rare condition called Reversible Cerebral Vasoconstriction Syndrome (RCVS) after giving birth.

RCVS occurs when the vessels that supply blood to the brain tighten suddenly, causing tell-tale symptoms that include sudden, severe, and disabling "thunderclap" headaches.

When left untreated, the condition can cause strokes or bleeding in the brain; something Haynes wouldn't learn until days later, when she finally had an MRI.

She can still remember the look on the MRI technician's face when he told her to go straight to the emergency room.

Racing back to the original hospital where Haynes gave birth, she waited hours for the physician who previously said she had a migraine to see her.?

Tahnee Haynes spent days laying on her side hoping the agony would pass.
Tahnee Haynes spent days laying on her side hoping the agony would pass. (Supplied)

He said she'd need to be transferred to a bigger hospital, but when the wait for an ambulance transport dragged out, Haynes' husband decided to drive them there himself.

"I was critical at that stage [but] had to wait two hours in emergency. Then I finally got taken up to the neurological ward at 6am, where I spent five days without my newborn baby," she says.

Finally diagnosed with RCVS, the new mum was told that she had experienced at least five ischaemic strokes, which occur when the blood supply to part of the brain is interrupted or reduced.

This prevents brain tissue from getting oxygen and nutrients and Haynes was quickly put on channel blockers to prevent any further damage.

She then spent five long days in hospital undergoing neurological tests while separated from her toddler son and newborn baby.

If that wasn't heartbreaking enough, she was also told that giving birth again would put her at risk of further strokes. She wouldn't be able to have any more children.

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Tahnee Haynes missed out on precious time with her son as a result of her undiagnosed condition.
Tahnee Haynes missed out on precious time with her son as a result of her undiagnosed condition. (Supplied)

"Five days when your baby's two weeks old, they changed so much. They're only little for so long. I still can't even get rid of baby clothes," she says through tears almost three years on.

When she was finally allowed to return home, it wasn't as the fit and healthy mum she had been before and she could barely care for herself, let alone two little ones.

In the two-and-a-half years since Haynes' ordeal, she's suffered debilitating migraines, balance issues when fatigued, sensory issues and paralysis episodes from the neck down.

"No other woman should go through what I went through."

"My mouth droops, I can't talk, I get weak. I literally just have to stay still until it passes, so it feels like I'm having another stroke," she says.

"I lost my independence because of the fear. What happens if it happens again? Will someone find me? What happens if this time I'm not so lucky?"

Her hospital experience left her with post-traumatic stress disorder, which requires regular psychologist appointments to manage.

Meanwhile, the physical side-effects require preventative medication and four trips to a neurologist each year for Botox injections in her head and neck to manage the episodes.

Tahnee Haynes in hospital with her baby son.
Tahnee Haynes in hospital with her baby son. (Supplied)

Now she's urging other women, especially mums, to speak up when they know something is wrong and advocate for themselves in medical settings.

For the 11 days she suffered before being diagnosed, Haynes trusted her medical team but felt that they dismissed her when she insisted it wasn't just a migraine.

"If a mother is complaining of pain, you need to look into it, you can't just dismiss it. If something's not showing up on a scan, then you need to go further and investigate until you get answers," she says.

Haynes still has nightmares about her hospital experiences and says Australia's medical system needs to change so experiences like hers never happen again.

"Women deserve to receive the care they need. No other woman should go through what I went through," she adds.?

"I've basically missed nine months of raising my baby because I couldn't even look after myself, let alone a newborn baby [after the strokes]."

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Tahnee Haynes walks with her son as part of Strides4Stroke.
Tahnee Haynes walks with her son as part of Strides4Stroke. (Supplied)

She's also demanding more education and awareness around RCVS, which women are at greater risk of in the postpartum period, so that cases like hers are caught quicker.?

Almost three years on, Haynes will likely carry the physical and mental scars of her strokes for the rest of her life, but that won't stop her from making a difference.

Throughout November she's completing 600 active minutes to raise $2,000 as part of Stride4Stroke, an annual fundraising event hosted by the Stroke Foundation.

You can support Haynes' efforts here. Learn more about Stride4Stroke here, or on the Stroke Foundation website here.

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