Pregnancy Diaries: 'I recovered from decades of anorexia to have kids after wanting to be a mum for 14 years'

Ever wonder if other women experience pregnancy the same way you do? Now is your chance to find out.

Our new series, Pregnancy Diaries, is all about sharing real women's true pregnancy stories ¨C the highs, the lows, the hilarious and the shocking from conception all the way to birth.

In this diary entry, mum Sarah Yip details her brave recovery from decades of anorexia to become a mother and welcome her three sons.

Want to share your own pregnancy story? Email it to mleach@nine.com.au?

I began controlling my eating at nine, around the time we were weighed in public at school and soon after my grandmother died unexpectedly. It was about feeling in control and having some order during an emotional time. I was also being bullied at school.?

I was not diagnosed with anorexia until 32, which means I spent over two decades battling myself. I was also diagnosed with autism and giftedness ('twice-exceptionality') at 40.

I wish I had found out about these issues earlier but all I can do now is to raise awareness for others and help my children have a better time than I did. Interestingly, other girls in my family have also had anorexia. I think there's a genetic link plus there's trauma from our relatives being in China during WWII.?

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I wanted to have children young but could never fall pregnant, despite trying in my late 20's. Instead I had extreme period pain, suspected endometriosis and ovarian cysts, probably linked to workplace stress and my up and down eating habits. I actually love food, it's just that I didn't feel I deserved it, especially when I wasn't earning much, which I know sounds pretty sad.?

Anorexia also affected my fertility in my 20s. I remember a doctor telling me that I had to start eating again or I would never have children and I would possibly die of organ failure. She drew a picture of someone falling off a cliff and said some people looked okay on the outside while they were dying on the inside.?

That shocked me into action. I started eating meat again and being less strict with my diet.

I'm lucky I got help before I had to be hospitalised. It was partly because my friend and therapist pushed me to see someone. She probably saved my life.?

I still get chills remembering the pregnancy test.

When I was finally treated for anorexia, I had group therapy and we did a goal setting exercise on a big canvas. I drew a baby because I wanted to be healthy enough to regain my fertility. Through self-reflection and therapy, I realised that part of my anorexia was due to wanting more freedom as a woman ¨C not wanting my mother's life.?

My parents came to Australia during the White Australia policy and they had to work all the time to support us. I saw my mother give up her career aspirations, so I associated growing older with pain. I needed to rewire those beliefs in order to allow my body to heal. Only when I embraced my mother and family's sacrifices and courage could I become well again.

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By the time I fell pregnant in 2015 I was considered free of active anorexia, however it still took lots of counselling for me to embrace the pregnancy weight gain and being looked at in public.?

I still get chills remembering the pregnancy test. I remember teasing my husband Kris by saying "it looks like we're not pregnant", then he saw the double lines and said "yes we are!"

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To be honest, I knew I was pregnant because I had a vision of a baby sitting on our bed just weeks prior. The little boy said "hurry up, I'm waiting!" and pointed to an imaginary watch. Amusingly, our son Forrest, six, still tells me to hurry up.?

I was elated at finding out, however some of my inner circle were not impressed, as we were having a baby before marriage - plus my job as a psychic was not considered very stable.?

I dealt with their doubts by studying comedy and announcing my pregnancy at a stand up show in Brisbane, which was posted to YouTube. I realised that being a parent is being a leader and I had to get stronger at dealing with hecklers. Humour seems to work well.

My husband Kris came with me to pregnancy yoga and the birth classes and was very supportive during the process. He is an amazing cook and would always sit with me to make sure I finished my meals, especially when I was recovering from anorexia.?

Although he didn't get involved with my therapy, he understands that my mental illness was something we might have to deal with for a lifetime. As they say ¨C love is patient, love is kind.

I chose to give birth at a birth centre, as I knew I needed the same team of midwives for emotional security. I hated having to explain my history to different nurses and doctors, especially because anorexia is not always well understood.?

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Some people still think you choose to have it, rather than realising it is a genuine illness with the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. It's like blaming someone for drowning because you can swim and they can't. Not everyone is born knowing how to look after themselves and their bodies.??

I was terrified of giving birth as I never thought I could do it. I have a low pain threshold plus I'm not the fittest person around. However I had amazing family, friends, therapists and midwives who gave me the courage I needed to succeed. Even my clients sent me cards and presents to cheer for me.

I recovered from decades of anorexia to have my first son.

I kept reminding myself that many of my friends had four children, so I could definitely handle one (I ended up having three). I also found comfort in the idea that birth is mainly about mindset, cooperation and endurance. As a spiritual person, I asked my babies to help create good births and some of them even 'talked' to me during labour.

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Pregnancy yoga, chiro and massage helped me to stay flexible overall. I also used chanting, meditation and self-hypnosis to visualise the birth and create a peaceful labour. I had blessingways to prepare for the births, which meant that when I went into labour, a dozen friends prayed for me. I'm sure that helped too.

As I arrived to give birth to Forrest, the time on the clock was 11.11am, which caused my midwife and I to smile. We both saw it as a lucky sign.

I imagined pressing a big 'pain relief' button to trigger my endorphins and people giving me flowers after each contraction. Amazingly, my mother in law came in with the same flowers after I delivered Forrest (roses, gerberas and irises).? I further motivated myself to give birth by thinking about a chocolate cake in the fridge at home. It sure tasted good after giving birth!

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When my first child Forrest arrived via waterbirth, I felt pain because I had a tear, yet absolute devotion too. He was so squishy, energetic and loud. The rest is history because Kris and I went on to have two more sons.?

Having three boys in five years is a great way to entertain yourself for the rest of your life. They keep us really fit and laughing and we are very grateful to be parents. Having children later (I had mine between 35 and 40) means I am more patient and can work around them because I have my own business. If I'd stayed in my 9 to 5 job I think I would have never had kids.

I recovered from decades of anorexia to have my first son after wanting to be a mum for more than 14 years. Now I love telling my three boys how I grew them in my stomach. They're so sweet, they often cuddle and kiss my tummy after that.?

Anyone needing support with eating disorders or body image issues is encouraged to contact the Butterfly National Helpline on 1800 33 4673 (1800 ED HOPE) or support@butterfly.org.au. You can also call the Eating Disorders Victoria Helpline on 1300 550 23 or Lifeline on 13 11 14 for urgent support.