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Influencer mum Steph Claire Smith hits out at critics over her 'uncommon' family dynamic: 'People think this is unnatural'

By Maddison Leach|

Model Steph Claire Smith should be soaking up the best bits of motherhood 18 months after welcoming son Harvey, but the fitness icon is frustrated.

Families come in all different shapes and sizes these days, yet she and husband Josh Miller still deal with questions and criticism over their 'uncommon' dynamic.

After becoming parents in May 2021, they decided Smith would return to work as an influencer and co-founder of wellness app Keep It Cleaner while Miller stayed home.

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Steph Claire Smith poses with husband Josh Miller and their son Harvey.
Model Steph Claire Smith is sick of the criticism for her 'uncommon' family dynamic. (Instagram)

The decision was perfect for their family and almost two years on, Miller is loving life as a stay-at-home dad, but they can't escape some people's outdated ideas about parenting.

"It's very frustrating. I can't believe there are still people that have it stuck in their minds that this is unnatural and shouldn't be done," Smith says of Miller's choice to stay home.?

"I really don't understand it. He's an incredible dad. He's doing a fantastic jobกญ he's immensely proud that he can be a stay-at-home dad."

But there are always detractors who want to make their opinions known, especially on social media where Smith has more than 1.5 million Instagram followers.

The couple know their parenting choice is still considered unusual in Australia, where families with a stay-at-home dad made up only four per cent of two-parent families in the 2011 census.

While that number is on the rise, stay-at-home dads like Miller still face judgement and isolation for choosing to give up work and be a primary caregiver.

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Steph Claire Smith in matching PJs with husband Josh Miller and their son Harvey.
The family's dynamic is 'uncommon', but there's nothing wrong with it. (Instagram)

"It's hard for him and super isolating because when you look at mother's groups, more often than not there are zero dads in them," Smith admits.?

"And if there are dad's groups, they're traditionally for the dads that also work, so throughout the week it's not like he can catch up with them."

Despite that, Miller is keen to remain at home during Harvey's formative years and he and Smith want to show their son that there are countless different ways to approach family life.

"I can't believe there are still people that have it stuck in their minds that this is unnatural."

If and when Miller does decide to return to the workforce, he and Smith will once again decide how to navigate it in the best way for their young family.

"It should be that way in every relationship, heterosexual or not, that there's a conversation about who's going back to work, when that is and those sort of things," she adds.

As for Smith, she returned to work far quicker than some would expect after giving birth.

Within just a few weeks she'd recorded a new podcast episode and between that and her social media work, she never really took a full break from her career.?

Steph Claire Smith cuddles her son Harvey.
Smith was ready for motherhood but didn't want to give up her career to have it. (Instagram)

"I was so ready to be so deep in motherhood and I embraced it all, but at the same time when you run your own business that's your first baby, so I wasn't okay with completely stepping back," she laughs.

By the time her son was a few months old, Smith was joining team meetings via Zoom once a week and soon after she was heading back into the office sometimes too.

The biggest milestone came at nine months postpartum, when she returned to work four days a week and Smith has kept up that routine ever since.

"I think I've found the perfect balance where I can get enough time with Harvey, really fill out my family cup and balance that guilt of missing out at home, and also still be a part of the team and get everything that we need to get done every week at work," she says

There's one thing she certainly doesn't feel any 'guilt' about though, and that's her body.

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There's a longstanding narrative that new mums have to "bounce back" after giving birth and as a fitness influencer, Smith actively refused to play any role in perpetuating it.

"All that pressure, I really don't understand where it comes from and it does make me quite angry because everyone's body is going to react differently," she says.

"Everyone's body is different from the beginning. Everyone's body goes through a different change throughout pregnancy, everyone's birth is different, everyone's postpartum period and lifestyle and help they get - all of that is differentกญ it's just super unfair that everyone is held to the same expectation to' bounce back'."

Though some critics accused Smith of throwing herself back into fitness to 'bounce back' quickly after welcoming Harvey, that couldn't be further from the truth.

She had to give up many forms of exercise during the postpartum period and even suffered a minor bladder prolapse, which could have been much worse had she been pushing herself into the gym.

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Steph Claire Smith cuddles her son Harvey in the weeks after giving birth.
Smith is embracing all the changes her body went through to have Harvey, seen here as a newborn. (Instagram)

"My prolapse was at a point where it was easily fixed through pelvic floor exercises and physio recommendations, but if I'd gone straight back into running or HIIT training I definitely could have set myself back and made it a lot worse," Smith admits.

In a way, new mums pushing themselves to work out and regain their 'pre-baby bodies' can be dangerous and Smith says the social pressure to do so needs to stop.

"That pressure comes in straight away. I don't know any other circumstance where your body would go through such an ordealกญ but you're also supposed to look the way you did before," she adds.

Though she looks like her usual fit self on Instagram, Smith is the first to say her body has changed a lot through pregnancy and postpartum - and she's not mad about it.

Instead, she's proud of everything her body was able to achieve and is grateful for everything that comes with being a mum, including the physical changes.

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