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Viral message shows how to really support a friend after miscarriage

By Madhurima Haque|

One mum posted a tribute to her friend who supported her after her miscarriage in an unusually effective way.

Ashlee Gadd, the founder of Coffee + Crumbs, a storytelling community for mums, has recounted how an unusual text from her long-time friend Anna Quinlan helped her through the aftermath of her miscarriage.

The post, titled "Friendship: a thread", showed a series of images, starting with a picture of a pack of toilet paper and a box of snacks on the front porch. The next few images were of screenshots that explained the context of the first picture.

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The text message from Anna lists out different options for Ashlee to choose from

"Checking on you. Please choose from the following," said the text.

"1. I pick your kids up anytime after 3:30 today & show them a good time through dinner (which would be at Chick-fil-A, obvi, & would include takeout brought back for you).

"2. I send DoorDash dinner of your choice to you (This offer is valid any day this week. Also next week.)

"3. I have to go to Target today, I can pick up anything you need & drop it on your doorstep & not talk to you at all.

"4. I can send prayers & good vibes & you can politely decline any tangible services at this time."

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The simple message provided Ashlee with the support she needed (Instagram)

Ashlee simply sent back a picture of her toilet roll, writing "Would you believe me if I told you this is all of the toilet paper in my entire house right now? Would gladly take you up on the target offer กช we need toilet paper. You'd be saving me a trip."

Anna gladly obliged, even including a box of Cheez-Its after sending her a friendly jab about her flavour preferences.

Anna told TODAY Parenting that she was thinking of how she could help her friend with what she already had.

"I know that Ashlee has other friends who can offer totally different resources, like sharing their own vulnerable stories of miscarriage or offering beautiful flowers or gifts," she said.

"I'm not as great at those resources, but I can drop toilet paper and crackers on your porch by 3pm."

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But Ashlee says that Anna's version of help was just what she needed.

"More often than not, I think most of us default to, 'Let me know if you need anything'. I'll speak for myself กช I've sent that text a hundred times," said the mum.

"She gave me something tangible to grab onto, without the emotional fatigue of trying to think of what I needed."

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