How Minnie fought back from 'dark pit' of self-harm and suicidal thoughts

WARNING - This article contains content could be distressing for some readers

Growing up in the country town of Inverell in northern NSW, Minnie Knight found herself struggling at school, being bullied and on a path of self-destruction.

When she was about eight-years-old, her father was sent to jail and several family members died within months of each other.

"It really took its toll," she tells 9Honey Parenting. "I found myself in a dark pit. I began to self-harm and had thoughts of suicide, just to stop the pain. It felt like I had nowhere to go. I just wanted the bad stuff to end."

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"It was a really stressful time....," she adds. "I didn't know how to deal with my emotions or the grief. And even though I had a big family, I was the youngest child and felt like no one really listened to me."

When she was in Year 6, things started to get worse at school for Minnie and she was also labeled as having an attitude problem.

"No matter how hard I studied, I just couldn't seem to understand all the concepts," she explains. "I didn't learn the same way as everyone else.

"Sometimes I was brave enough to ask for help, but not always, and that really took its toll on my self-esteem. I thought I was really dumb .. and I carried that through to high school."

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She also found herself getting bullied, with some of the worst incidents occurring on the school bus. "I have ginger hair naturally, and some kids on the bus used to call me orangutan," she recalls "It made me so self-conscious and made me hate my hair colour."

Minnie's self-harming became so extreme that it even led to several hospitalisations.

"I did try talking to the school counselor and a number of different therapists, but I felt like they didn't understand me," she reveals.

Minnie, now aged 19, has since been diagnosed with ADHD, which has helped explain a lot of her learning challenges. Fortunately, she also discovered a youth mental health program that she credits for turning her life around.

Youth Insearch runs peer-to-peer workshops and support groups for young people aged 14 to 22. Since launching in 1985, it has supported 32,000 at-risk youth to overcome their trauma.

"It was eye-opening. I realised sitting in the session rooms, that people actually want to listen to me and help me," she said. "It started to help me look up and get out of my dark pit."

The key thing that helped, according to Minnie, was that many of the speakers were teenagers and young adults that had been through similar experiences and trauma. "I learnt coping mechanisms for day-to-day life .. and it made me feel like I wasn't alone."

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The inspiring teenager even went on to finish her HSC and is currently studying to be a high school teacher at university in Newcastle.

"If it wasn't for Youth Insearch, I would still be in that dark place. It gave me hope and my confidence back," she says. "I struggled so much in high school. My plan is to help teenagers just like me."

Minnie is sharing her story to help raise awareness about Youth Insearch and their End Youth Suicide Week campaign, now in its fourth year.

As part of the campaign, the organisation is encouraging Australians to start open conversations about suicide and has also launched a petition calling on all federal government parties to increase funding for programs that prevent youth suicide.

Tragically, suicide remains the biggest killer of Australians aged between 15 to 24 years.

"Research tells us that a young person is much more likely to disclose their distress ¨C and suicide intent ¨C to a peer as opposed to a health professional or adult," says Leanne Hall, Clinical Lead at Youth Insearch. "Having a support network of youth with lived experience, supported by experts is a key ingredient when it comes to both prevention and early intervention for suicide.''

As for Minnie's advice for teenagers who may currently be struggling, "Don't hesitate to ask for help. Growing up in a small town, I didn't really know where to go for a long time.

"But there are so many people out there who can give you the help and guidance you need."

To find out more about Youth Insearch, including to sign the petition, go to their website or follow them on Facebook or Instagram.

If you need immediate assistance, please call crisis services Lifeline on 13 11 14, Kids Help Line on 1800 55 1800 Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467. If your life is in danger, please call 000.

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