'My boyfriend made me feel ashamed of my body during my pregnancy'
By 9Honey | As told to Tanya Meyer|
I wasn't one of those women that hated being pregnant; in fact I really loved every minute of it. I was lucky that I didn't get much morning sickness, and really I was just so happy to be pregnant because I lost my first baby to miscarriage.
The only downside was that I put on a lot of weight, but I didn't care. So long as my baby was healthy, that was all that mattered to me. And because I wasn't feeling sick, I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted to.
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If I craved anything, it was usually chocolate and I sure ate a lot of that! I also ate a huge amount of donuts and cakes, so I just listened to my body จC whatever I felt like, I ate.
But my boyfriend Jason didn't like me being pregnant and made fun of me for putting on weight. Well, it was just 'making fun' at first, but as I got bigger he really made me feel ashamed of my body. He would watch me eating and say "You shouldn't be eating that!" or "Look how fat you're getting!"
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One day he actually grabbed my arm and pulled me towards a full length mirror and said, "Where's my gorgeous skinny girl?" I told him to shut up, that I'm pregnant, and would he prefer I was losing weight?
Now I have our beautiful daughter and I've put on even more weight, and I'm still very happy. I love the way I look; I love my curves and I think I look sexy and very healthy. But Jason doesn't see it that way. He just sees me as "fat".
It doesn't matter how many times I tell him I'm fine the way I am and if I wanted to lose weight, I could. But I'm a busy mum working from home with my own small business, and the last thing I need to worry about during a pandemic is trying to lose weight.
My mother-in-law was over recently and told me she thinks I look fantastic. When I turned to Jason and said, "Listen to your mother" he just scowled at me. I don't want to go back to being the skinny woman I was before I became a mum.
I feel much healthier now and that's the most important thing. Who cares that I can't fit into my size 12 dresses anymore? It's not as though I've got a social life anymore anyway!
I just wish Jason would love me no matter how I looked, no matter what weight I am. Where are those men who say they love their women whether they're fat, thin or in between; I want a man like that!
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If Jason can't love me how I am, then I don't know how we're going to last. I do hope things work out for us, but he needs to see me for who I am, not just what I look like. I'm proud of my body and he should be too.
