Opinion: 'Watching TV with my kids is now considered 'good' parenting.'
By Jo Abi|
I was in a nostalgic mood when I selected Neverending Story on Stan at the weekend.
Neverending Story is the first movie I ever viewed in a cinema and was a significant treat for me and my sisters.
My mum had taken us all to the dentist, then to the movie, a rare occasion in our family (the movie, not the dentist).
Also, this movie is enchanting. I think it still holds up as one of the all-time best children's movies ever created and as my daughter pointed out, seems to have influenced the creators of Stranger Things.
So I sat down to watch it on Saturday morning and had just gotten to the part where the little characters discuss their journey to see the Empress for help when my daughter (who had been asleep) came running out.
"Are you watching this without me," she said.
"Yes, but I can start it over," I said.
She joined me and I started the movie from the beginning. Soon both my boys wandered over and sat down to watch it as well.
As I sat with my kids watching a movie on TV together, I couldn't help but feel like a 'good' parent.
Look at us! Not an individual device in sight. Instead, we've abandoned our phones and tablets and gaming consoles and here we are, snuggled up, enjoying a movie together.
I am an amazing mum!
I am the best single parent ever!
"As I sat with my kids watching a movie on TV together, I couldn't help but feel like a 'good' parent."
Except then I remembered my own childhood and how watching TV was restricted because, according to news reports, watching too much TV was considered "detrimental to a child's development".
TV used to be discussed in the same way devices are discussed now, as having the ability to bring down a generation of children who will - through the use of too much technology - lose the ability to talk, learn, grown, walk, eat and shower - if they spend to much time using them.
The same used to be said about TV, but not anymore.
For a family to sit down to the same show or movie and enjoy the experience together, well, that's now considered the pinnacle of parenting.
It's funny how attitudes change over the years and I can't help but wonder what we'll think of TV and devices in another generation's time. It's hard to fathom. Who know? Maybe with a tap of the ear we will see relevant images, TV shows, movies and games in our head and while on the outside it will look as though we are sitting quietly, inside our minds we are having the time of our lives.
Perhaps that will be deemed 'unhealthy' and using devices that require visible effort such as phones and tablets will be deemed a 'healthy' choice.
I briefly considered taking a photo of us all watching the movie and sharing it on Instagram, but that would have ruined the moment. Also I was busy consoling the kids because Neverending Story is actually really scary and sad at times, although the ending more than makes up for all of the distress it caused us.
"It's funny how attitudes change over the years and I can't help but wonder what we'll think of TV and devices in another generation's time."
My daughter refused to watch the scene with Artax the horse in the Swamp of Sadness. She went to her room and told me to let her know when it was over.
I think what is considered 'good' parenting is subjective and we need to remember that while society is quick to demonise whatever it is that children are drawn to, every generation's children went through the exact same thing.
Device time is demonised for our children.
When we were kids, TV viewing was demonised.
When my mum was a kid, rock music was demonised and at one stage, music by The Beatles and Elvis.
Now if our kids were to sit down and listen to music by The Beatles and Elvis, we'd consider them gifted.
So whatever it is you and your children do this weekend, enjoy it, even if it is using devices in separate rooms while eating snacks.
It just takes one good TV show or movie for everyone to come together. And device use is not going to ruin your kids anymore than TV shows, movies or music.
You can contact Jo Abi at jabi@nine.com.au, on Twitter @joabi or on Instagram @joabi_9.