Warring exes clash over newborn baby's unusual surname choice
By Merryn Porter |
Sometimes when couples divorce, women will revert back to their maiden name. Other times, they will keep their married name, especially if there are children involved, and most men would be understanding of that.
However, a man has been left scratching his head after learning his former spouse recently gave birth to a baby and gave it his last name, even though the child is not his and she has moved on with a new partner.
Now, the man is asking if he was wrong to tell the woman he thought it was weird, and his question has divided the internet.
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The man, who called himself TheCallipygianDuck, took to Reddit's popular Am I the A---hole advice column to ask if he was in the wrong for saying it is weird that his ex-wife gave her newborn his last name.
The man explained that he was married to his ex for seven years before their divorce four years ago.
"After the divorce, she kept my surname. I didn't necessarily like it because it felt like she was still attaching herself to my family, but I could understand the practical reasons enough not to let it bother me," he said.
This all changed when she "recently gave birth to a baby and posted a picture of said child and revealed its name."
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"A friend sent it to me commenting about the surname and asking if I knocked her up. Following that, four more people directly contacted me either congratulating me or asking for confirmation whether it's my child or not, and my mother says she's been catching whispers about it too at church," he said.
"I bumped into her and her sister in town and obviously congratulated her then asked about the kid's name. I asked about the surname and she confirmed that the child's legal surname is 'obviously' [mine] and asked if there was a problem."
He said this "p---ed me off" because his surname "is very unique, especially in the area ... so when people hear the surname they naturally think of my family and assume that this is my kid."
"Worse, the father is apparently in the picture so I don't know what ... is going on there,' he said.
"I straight up said that it was ... weird that she's giving her newborn the surname of the man she's divorced from, who isn't in any way linked to the kid, and sounds almost obsessive.
"She said she gave her daughter her surname as the mother, and not mine."
In follow up comments, he explained the former couple had no children together, but she had a child from a previous relationship.
"Also her surname doesn't impact her professionally. I do not know why the father's surname wasn't used."
Thousands of people have so far weighed in, with some agreeing her actions were weird, while others thought he was wrong to expect his former wife to change her name.
"I can see her argument that it's her last name now too ... but that's mildly weird as well. It would have been an ideal time for her to get around to changing her last name also," said one.
"Changing your name is a pain and a lot of work/money. [He] was presumably happy for her to take his name and do all that work when it was convenient for him, but he can't force her to do it again. I see why you are weirded out, but your name is her name too, so she was perfectly in the right to use it," said another.
"I'm sympathetic to [him]. This is kinda weird and annoying, but so is being expected to change your name. You need to accept that marriage and divorce have lifelong consequences," wrote another.
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