Mum's distress after son refuses birthday cake to impress his health-obsessed dad: 'Looked so sad'
By Merryn Porter |
B?irthdays are meant to be fun experiences for children, what with all the extra attention, gifts and, of course, cake.
But one mum is concerned her husband's fitness obsession is damaging their son after he refused to eat a slice of his own birthday cake so he wouldn't disappoint his dad.
And now the internet is urging the woman to seek help for her son, who they warn is dangerously close to developing an eating disorder.
READ MORE: A$AP Rocky opens up about baby boy he shares with Rihanna
The woman, who called herself millaca1, took to Reddit's TrueOffMyChest forum this week ?with a post titled, "My son didn't eat his birthday cake because of my husband's fitness obsession."
The post began: "My husband is very conscious of fitness and appearance. He exercises religiously. I haven't seen him eat a bite of cake since our wedding."
The woman said her husband "expects our oldest son to be just like him."
"He's named after him and my husband sees him as his mini-me," she said, adding, "My husband loves him but his love can be tough."
READ MORE?: Toddler rescued by fire fighters after getting toilet seat stuck on head
The woman said she had a "wake-up call" when her son turned 11 recently.
?"He only ate two small bites of his cake. I asked what was wrong and why he wasn't eating it. He told me 'I don't want to disappoint Dad'.
"I asked my husband to tell him it was okay to eat it. He said 'Why would I do that? I'm not eating it so why would I encourage my son to? He tasted it, he's fine'."
The woman said their son "should enjoy his childhood" and she didn't want him to be "afraid to have a piece of cake on his birthday."
"I saw him watching his little brother eat it and he looked so sad," she said.
"Even when he opened his presents, I could tell he was masking sadness. My heart is breaking for my poor child. I see now how much my husband's behaviour has affected him."
READ MORE: ?'Harry's book sales are breaking records, but at a personal cost'
More than 11,000 people reacted to the past in just four days, with 98 per cent agreeing the woman was right to be concerned.
Many also commented on the post, with some not holding back.
"?Your husband is an ass who is ruining your kid's life," said one. "Your husband is setting your son on a road to eating disorders and unhealthy obsessions. He can be obsessed with fitness, but he can't force his lifestyle on others."
Others urged the woman to seek help from a professional.
"Spending an hour or two now with a psychologist who specialises in treating eating disorders could save a lot of trouble down the line when your son enters adolescence," said one.?
"Eating disorder therapist/specialist here. I have seen this more times than I can count and it's heartbreaking. It's so difficult to unstick a brain stuck on this thinking let alone a kid who learned it from the most important person in his life. I truly hope this family can look at the dynamics and get some help," said another, who also noted the mum had "possibly reinforced it by letting it go this long."
Another wrote, "I'm going to be blunt. Your husband is giving your son an eating disorder and you need to step in now."
Many shared their own experiences. "My mother had me eat only all-natural food when I was a kid. I mean, a snack was eating a green pepper the way you might eat an apple. I have such a bad relationship with food now กช extremely poor impulse control, inability to moderate, craving the worst stuff. It hugely backfired," said another.
"My father was like that. Zero junk food allowed. We went to a company barbecue when we were under 10 and got yelled at all the way home for scarfing down chips and drinking cola 'like animals' and embarrassing him in front of his colleagues."
Many said the father clearly had an eating disorder, or worse.
"He should be treated for orthorexia. It's often so hard to treat because its features/symptoms are praised by society," said one.
But another commenter thought the father's issue went further. "[The] husband has an identity issue and he's practically forcing his child to be a carbon copy of himself. That's going to ruin that kid for life... unless they seek therapy."
For a daily dose of 9Honey, subscribe to our newsletter here
Anyone needing support with eating disorders or body image issues is encouraged to contact the Butterfly National Helpline on 1800 33 4673 (1800 ED HOPE) or support@butterfly.org.au. You can also call the Eating Disorders Victoria Helpline on 1300 550 23 or Lifeline on 13 11 14 for urgent support.
