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Jacinta escaped abuse only to be 'taken advantage of' by someone who was supposed to help her

By Maddison Leach|

Jacinta Dubojski has survived an abusive relationship and two mental breakdowns, but one act in her childhood may have saved her from decades of trauma.

Growing up in AlburyจCWodonga, NSW, she was bullied from a young age and developed crippling self-esteem issues that wreaked havoc on her adult life.

"There was a guy at school that gave me and many others a horrid time. He gave us all absolute hell," she tells 9Honey.

"When you're a teen, you're trying to find your way in the world. Your body's changing and you're wanting to fit in and just be accepted, and [the bullying] was just destroying me."

Jacinta Dubojski (right) was brutally bullied as a young girl.
Jacinta Dubojski (right) was brutally bullied as a young girl. (Supplied)

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Dubojski felt too embarrassed to tell her parents about the cruel taunts that followed her all through high school and there was limited support from teachers or staff.

Her self-esteem crumbled away, even as she desperately prayed for the bullying to stop.

"I literally would kneel against my bed and just pray it would stop, and that tomorrow would be a better day," she says. Sadly, her prayers went unanswered.

The bullying continued until she graduated and the damage to her self-worth quickly started to affect her romantic relationships and made her a target for abusers.?

Had someone intervened when she was in school, maybe that wouldn't have been the case.

Jacinta Dubojski suffered from low self-esteem and found herself in an abusive situation.
Jacinta Dubojski suffered from low self-esteem and found herself in an abusive situation. (Supplied)

"Boyfriends treated me like crap because I just wanted to be accepted, I wanted to be loved and told I was beautiful," she says.

"I can't believe the damaging effects that bullying actually had on me, and I didn't realise itกญ the repercussions were horrendous."

At just 24, Dubojski found herself in a mentally and physically abusive situation that dragged on for months and stripped her of every shred of her identity and dignity.

It took almost a year to escape the situation and it took a massive toll on Dubojski, especially the psychological abuse.

"Any worth, any self-belief, any self-esteem was just completely stripped away," she says.?

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"You feel like an anaconda has completely wrapped itself around you from head to toe, and choked you, strangled you, taken every bit of life out of you."

After leaving the situation, she moved to Sydney and started modelling, but her mental health declined even further after being ordered to lose 10 kilos by a "controlling" agent

At 26, she was being weighed constantly and told to go on extreme diets. Eventually she confessed to her mum and sister that she "didn't want to live" anymore.

They urged Dubojski to come home to AlburyจCWodonga where her family helped her check into a mental health unit after suffering a mental breakdown.

Jacinta Dubojski started modelling in her mid-20s but her mental health deteriorated.
Dubojski started modelling in her mid-20s but her mental health deteriorated. (Supplied)

"I didn't realise I was actually having a breakdown. I just felt like someone had smashed my brain against the wall and put it back in my head," she recalls.?

"As horrific as the physical abuse was, it actually heals. It's the psychological, the mental abuse just won't go awayกญ I was not in a good place."

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Though she didn't want to be hospitalised, Dubojski hoped time in the mental health unit would put her on the path to healing. Instead, she felt intimidated by staff.

She claims they were dismissive of her while at her most vulnerable, and says a staff member rudely brushed her off when she spoke about one day sharing her story publicly.

Sadly, Jacinta Dubojski had negative experiences with mental health services.
Sadly, Jacinta Dubojski had negative experiences with mental health services. (Supplied)

"You're there for support and to feel safe and to try to be nurtured back to health, but my time there was horrific," she says.

After a week in hospital, Dubojski moved home with her parents to heal and started making progress with the help of clinical psychology sessions, exercise and music.

Day by day, she dragged herself out of the dark pit she'd felt trapped in for years and after a long period of healing she had a late-night epiphany.

"It was three o'clock in the morning and I woke up with this excitement, this adrenaline and my mind's going, 'You need to share your story. You need to talk about it'," she says.

That's how her passion project, Just Another Girl, was born, to make sure other girls don't experience the traumatic experiences she did after being bullied as a child.

Jacinta Dubojski started speaking at schools to help empower young girls.
Jacinta Dubojski started speaking at schools to help empower young girls. (Supplied)

The initiative was designed to inspire and empower students to be confident and speak up about their struggles, from bullying, to abuse and beyond.

Dubojski started speaking at schools, educating students about managing difficult situations, equality, emotional intelligence, domestic violence and body confidence and self esteem.

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Though it was hard to relive her trauma to strangers, seeing young people respond so positively and girls speak up about what they were dealing with made it worth it.

Maybe if there had been a project like it when she was a teenager, Dubojski would have been able to talk about the bullying she went through, put a stop to it and thrive.

Through the Just Another Girl project, Jacinta Dubojski hopes to save other girls from the trauma she experienced.
Through the Just Another Girl project, Jacinta Dubojski hopes to save other girls from the trauma she experienced. (Supplied)

Unfortunately, she faced another setback when her relationship of six years ended and Dubojski experienced another mental breakdown.?

She was hospitalised again and the experience was even worse than the first time, as she was "taken advantage of" by a member of the hospital staff.

"A male mental health nurse actually came onto me, kissed me and came into my room. He then found me a year later on Facebook saying, 'I still love you'," she says.

"It was horrific to be taken advantage of when you're so vulnerable and so broken and in a mental health unit at hospital."

She spoke up about the inappropriate behaviour and the nurse was dismissed. Though it was a huge hurdle in her mental health journey, Dubojski kept pushing through.

Jacinta Dubojski found her own path to healing and wants the same for other women.
Jacinta Dubojski found her own path to healing and wants the same for other women. (Supplied)

Healing isn't linear and the 38-year-old is open about that fact and the setbacks in her own story in the hopes of inspiring other Australian girls and women to find their own healing.

Now she's continuing her Just Another Girl project in schools and speaking out online, where many women have told her she inspired them to leave abusive situations.

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Dubojski hopes that by targeting young girls, she can help break the cycle of low self-esteem, bullying and abuse so the next generation feel confident and safe.

Her efforts have not gone unnoticed, and she was recently named a finalist for the Lifeline Women of Spirit Award, which made her even more determined to help girls like her.

Jacinta Dubojski has been recognised for her inspiring work with young girls.
Jacinta Dubojski has been recognised for her inspiring work with young girls. (Supplied)

"I'm just going to keep going. It's changing lives and it's not easy, it's hard work but from where I have been to where I am now, it's pretty amazing," she says.?

"I don't want anyone else to go through what I went through. Talk about if you're being bullied, if you're struggling with self-esteem. Get help, don't suffer in silence like I did."

Dubojski is a survivor in every sense of the word and despite everything she'd battled through, she's still standing and wants other women to know they can do it too.

"Change and healing can happen, there are people that can help. You don't have to stay in an abusive relationship or be quiet about bullying. There is hope," she says.

For more information, visit the Just Another Girl project website here.

If you or someone you know is in need of support contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 732 732 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency dial Triple Zero (000).

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