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Vanessa spent four years and almost $50,000 to bring her 'miracle' baby home this Christmas

By Maddison Leach|

Christmas used to be heartbreaking for Vanessa Churches, who so desperately wanted to become a mother she dedicated four years and almost $50,000 to having a baby.

"It's such a happy time for so many people, but it's also such a hard time for many, especially when you see children opening their presents and other pregnant ladies," she tells 9Honey exclusively.

Having struggled to conceive for years, seeing all the children and babies reminded her of what she didn't yet have and could get so overwhelming she had to leave family events early.

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Renato and Vanessa Churches on their wedding day in 2018.
Renato and Vanessa Churches on their wedding day in 2018. (Instagram)

"It was the only way to make me feel better about it and to get through this time of the year," she admits, but Vanessa's family understood.

The Melbourne local was just 30 when she married Renato Churches in 2018. Young and healthy, the pair figured that starting the family they'd always dreamed of would be easy.

"I just assumed that you come off the contraceptive pill and bam, you're pregnant," Vanessa says.?

"I was told it can take a month or two for your body to get back to normal, but I didn't really think it would have been an issue."?

It wasn't until she and Renato had been trying for a year without any luck that Vanessa realised "something was wrong", but she was oblivious to what it might have been.

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She didn't know much about fertility issues and wasn't sure where to go for help, so made an appointment with her gynaecologist for some basic testing.

When the results came back clear, the couple were referred on to an in vitro fertilisation (IVF) specialist at Monash IVF. Though she was hopeful, Vanessa had no clue what to expect.

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"I just assumed they would have a look at your history, do some tests, give you some medication, get the sperm and the eggs, make an embryo, implant it and you're pregnant," she says.

The reality of IVF treatment was something altogether different.

Not only was the process a lot longer and more involved than she anticipated, the medication left her battling fatigue, nausea and other symptoms that mimicked pregnancy.

Vanessa Churches struggled with weigh gain from the IVF medication.
Vanessa Churches struggled with weigh gain from the IVF medication. (Instagram)

"It was really, really hard to push through each day knowing that I've got to wake up and do a couple of injections, take some tablets which are going to make me feel awful, then also get through my day at work," she confesses.

Vanessa also gained weight, a side-effect that seriously affected her confidence and mental health, and there was no guarantee that the treatment would work the first time - if at all.

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"Everyone assumes that if you go down the path of IVF, you're going to get pregnant, but that's not the case. It doesn't work like that, and I didn't know that," Vanessa adds.

By a stroke of luck, she fell pregnant after the first embryo transfer but just eight weeks into the pregnancy it was discovered that the baby wasn't growing and had no heartbeat.?

Tragically, Vanessa had experienced a miscarriage. She and Renato were devastated.

These are just some of the medications Vanessa Churches had to take during IVF treatment.
These are just some of the medications Vanessa Churches had to take during IVF treatment. (Instagram)

"That was a really traumatic experience for both of us. I think we both went into a dark placeกญ we wanted that baby so much," she says.

Vanessa had only really been exposed to IVF success stories and wasn't prepared for the possibility of a pregnancy loss or how much it would affect her.?

The miscarriage totally changed her perspective on IVF and she and Renato took several months to grieve and heal before they felt ready to try again.

In July 2021, the couple underwent a second embryo transfer. Two weeks later, they learned the embryo hadn't stuck. Vanessa wasn't pregnant.

"I didn't quite understand why it didn't work. We got pregnant the first time, how did this one not work?" she remembers thinking after the pregnancy test came back negative.

Further testing showed that there was no problem with the embryo, nor did Vanessa or Renato have any medical issues that could have been preventing a healthy pregnancy.

By late 2021, the couple had already spent tens of thousands of dollars on the expensive IVF treatment but decided to try one more time, undergoing a third transfer in November.

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That procedure alone set them back at least $20,000, Vanessa revealing she and Renato spent close to $50,000 on IVF in total.

"We luckily had savings, so we were able to pay upfront for the first round and then get a Medicare rebate. A full round cost about $12,000 or $13,000," she explains.

"For our second transfer, we did have to use our superannuation because we just didn't have enough savings. Even though our parents were offering [to help], we felt bad about taking their money."?

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By the time they underwent the third round, the couple had scraped together enough money from work bonuses and tax returns to afford the treatment, but it was still a huge investment.

Two weeks before Christmas 2021, Vanessa decided to do an at-home pregnancy test the day before she was due in at the clinic to learn if the third transfer had been successful.

"We wanted to be prepared if it was negative," she says. "I actually started bawling my eyes outกญ I had absolutely no symptoms, I felt nothing."

Sitting in their bedroom, Vanessa was too emotional to read the results and asked Renato to check the test. What he said next left them both in utter disbelief.

"Two lines means you're pregnant, right?"

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Renato and Vanessa Churches were thrilled when they learned they were pregnant in late 2021.
Renato and Vanessa Churches were thrilled when they learned they were pregnant in late 2021. (Supplied)

What followed was a rollercoaster of emotions. They cried, then called their parents to tell them the happy news, which was confirmed by a blood test the following day.

When Christmas Day rolled around, the new mum- and dad-to-be decided to announce they were expecting to the whole family despite Vanessa only being six weeks along.

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"We didn't know if this baby was going to make it. We don't know if we're going to have another miscarriage," she says.?

"But we wanted to celebrate him, even if he was only going to live a short life."

Christmas 2021 was one of the happiest holidays she'd experienced in years, but there was still a long road ahead and the pregnancy was "rough".

An image of the couple's unborn child from their third round of IVF.
An image of the couple's child from their third round of IVF. (Instagram)

At 20 weeks Vanessa started bleeding and rushed to hospital, afraid of losing another child, where doctors discovered she had placenta previa, meaning the placenta completely or partially covers the opening of the uterus.

The baby was fine, but Vanessa's obstetrician wanted her on bedrest, telling the expectant mum: "Let's just be careful, this bub has been four years in the making."

By the 28 week mark Vanessa had started to bleed again and had to be admitted to hospital five times in the eight-week period that followed.?

It was also revealed that her unborn son was smaller than he should have been and when the placenta hadn't moved by 36 weeks, Vanessa's obstetrician decided it would be safer to get the baby out.

"He wasn't growing enough and it was better for him to be out and to grow on the outside, because my body really wasn't doing what it should be doing," Vanessa adds.

Renato and Vanessa Churches in hospital after welcoming their son, Bryson.
Renato and Vanessa Churches in hospital after welcoming their son, Bryson. (Supplied)

She and Renato welcomed miracle son Bryson four weeks early in July 2022, but his birth was nothing like what Vanessa had imagined.

Having to undergo an emergency caesarean at 36 weeks was incredibly traumatic, especially when her premature baby was rushed away moments after he was born.

"They let me cuddle him for about a minute, then he was taken straight to the special care nursery because his temperature was dropping," she recalls.

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After being stitched up, Vanessa was vomiting and in so much pain that she couldn't see her baby for over 24 hours.?

But all of the trauma and agony faded into the background when she finally saw her tiny boy and got to hold him properly for the first time.

Renato and Vanessa Churches visited their son every day while he was still in hospital.
Renato and Vanessa Churches visited their son every day while he was still in hospital. (Supplied)

"That was probably one of the best experiences of my life, because he was in my arms and I just couldn't believe it. It was still a shock to me that he was here," she says fondly.

Bryson had to remain in hospital for almost five weeks and though Vanessa was discharged after just five days, she and Renato travelled in every day to see their son.

"It was really hard to leave him because I always expected to leave the hospital with my baby, but we were going home without a baby," she adds.?

Born with a heart murmur, which is common in premature babies, Bryson had to be monitored but cardiologists have reassured his parents he will likely grow out of it.

They finally took him home this August, but suffered a scare in December when Bryson had to be hospitalised for feeding issues, only to learn he was suffering from rhinovirus.

Renato and Vanessa Churches after brining son Bryson home.
Renato and Vanessa Churches after brining son Bryson home. (Supplied)

Thankfully their little fighter was discharged just a few days later, meaning he'll be home for their first Christmas together as a family of three, one year after announcing the pregnancy.

It's a moment Vanessa has dreamed for so long and though it took four years and $50,000 to get to this point, she wouldn't trade her son for anything.

"Now the money doesn't even cross my mind. It was hard when we were going through it and spending it, but now I don't think I would've taken anything back," she says.

"I'm more than happy with how much we spent and what we did because he's here today."

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